Giddy as a schoolgirl

This made me smile.

Go download the new mixtape courtesy of Fueled by Ramen. I freakin LOVE it. But I'm also a hiphop kid at heart so this is my kind of shit. Clinton Sparks is so talented, get familiar!
Oh and I'm still stoked to be going to college today, yay school. I have a new idea that I'm going to love to do, but hate to see.

Hi haters!

Despite my attempts at keeping a low profile, people seem to know who I am. I think at this point, they know more than I do, so feel free to let me know what's going on with my life. If anyone knows the latest gossip on who I'm dating that'd be rad.
Also to anyone who is hating on me, jealous of me, or wants to be me: don't it's not worth it. Nor is it super super glamorous. Sure I have a fun life, but anyone could be doing that. There's nothing I do, you can't or probably haven't done. I mean I think I'm a pretty swell cat but geez. A word of advice, if you see me out and about come say hi, I'm actually nice and talk to everyone.

PS. Get stoked because I'm going to be around even more, so that'll probably start even more mischief. dun dun dunnn

Coldstones

That place makes me happy. I just keep thinking about how happy everyone was to be at work, and the unity and welcoming feeling. Doesn't hurt that it tastes good too.

Might have to go there everyday this week just to make it through.




lovemyjoblovemyjoblovemyjoblovemyjoblovemyjoblovemyjoblovemyjob

I put up with this 8 hours a day, 40 a week

Hey - Dave will be asking you to do a postcard I believe today for CHomp - I asked him to get it to you before 1pm but there's a good chance that he doesn't - but he needs it by end of day today..sooo...just so you know. I have no idea what it is - as of Friday he couldn't tell me what would go on the postcard or flyer...

**************************************************

Just a heads up, it's now 11am. I haven't seen or heard from Dave


*update: Dave got back to me around 230ish, shit was due at 430/5. But as always, I got it done and it looks sick!

I'd pay anything to make the date October

Not for the reasons you think.

I don't even know who I am anymore. Just a shell of a person I've spent many years with, forming, growing, learning. Now, it's a piece of this and a piece of that. Time is stretched far too thin and there's not enough of it for me to even wrap my head around it. I just want to go to the time when I know I can sleep and think and breathe. The time when I can regain my spirit and be whole.
I'm incomplete. Simply stated, I don't know if I'm coming or going, if it's today or tomorrow, if I did or didn't. If you asked me to do something please ask me again, so much is going on that I honestly can't remember if I did it, put it on hold, or forgot.
I hate feeling like this, living like someone else. I miss the people I love but most importantly I miss the person I am. A few more weeks, the madness will subside and I can start putting back the pieces of my life. Resolving the broken promises and missed opportunities.
That is if the people are still there when I get back.

Love

Today has been a real eye-opening and more than ever do I want what I want. Work was miserable, constant flow of new urgent projects. No appreciation and little time to breathe. Lunch was awesome and kinda sorta made up for things. Kinda sorta. I did learn a little about myself and the way I come off to people. No worries it was good things. I really am a character but I'm not that friend that you can't take places because once they are gone it'll be hours of damage control.
Came home and played Mario Kart with my dad, what's better than that? Also watched some game shows with my mom, I'm nothing without my family and I truly enjoy their company. Talked to a few friends before going out, always good to catch up.
My night was pretty eventful and overall good. I had fun, and I got to spend time with some people I love. No need for details, this isn't a recap of my night but a celebration of my new found appreciation of people.
Now I sit on the sofa of a friend at 4:30am thinking of a few people smiling. Smiling is good, I should do it more. I should also sleep more being that I've been awake for almost 24 hours... oh ps. I got some of the best news about an hour ago, so I expect to sleep lightly for a while.


I hope you know just how much I care

You're killing me....I'm killing myself

Haha just saw a picture from that night and it made me remember my life before this job. And the fact that its now trying to kill me.

If I get one more new project due SUPER SUPER URGENT - ASAP - PRIORITY NUMBER ONE!!! I'm going to stab someone. True story. Yanno what would be awesome? A freakin vacation. Mmm yup. And with that being said, back to the design already in progress.

Get shit done

Don't give up yet; the work may be piling up now, but you can get through it all if you just stay focused on what's important. There are, no doubt, all kinds of distractions that can pull you from your mundane commitments, but you'll need to set them aside. Fortunately, the Sun's trine to your key planet Pluto gives you the ability to concentrate your mind power directly on your targeted destination.

Do these distractions include, oh I don't know, Photoshop not fucking opening? Shit! Ahhh, it's only 9am and my work day is shitastic. My apologies for the excess use of profanities but not a happy time. It's August, but even worst yet, school starts next week. So I have even more things to get done, and I knew what I signed up for when I did it but I was expecting my computer to work...
Let's hope everything bad was only for the first hour. My horoscope says I should focus on my job instead of playing Packrat or lurking people on Myspace. I semi agree, that keeps me sane. Instead I'll actually do the things I plan to do at home instead of dicking around. Yanno like finishing that logo for my client before he dips, cleaning my room that is super super intolerable, working out but I'm usually good about that, oh cleaning my car it's disgusting, or even something as simple as rewriting my myspace. We'll see!

I tripped up the steps at work

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.
- Michel de Montaigne

If I had access to a photographer

it would probably look like this
look at those shoes...

This is where you come in

Enough people read this blog for me to ask for an opinion. So I have an option of things to do and people to see. Do I drive an hour (which is nothing) to hang out with one of my favorite people to joke with, have an alright time, eat good food, and possibly party? Or do I go 15minutes down the road, hang out with one of my favorite people to hang out with, have a good time, and see some people I rather not? It's a hard choice. Either way I'll see good people and that's worth it.

Feel free to chime in. No I'm not giving more details, cause that will sway votes.

It's been a lifetime...

The Academy Is... third album released today, super stoked to buy it and look at the beautiful art and listen to the CD everyone has been raving about for months. I hope its everything I think it will be and more. I'd much rather the CD to be amazing and my favorite band to break up than for it to be mediocre. Maybe it can be incredible and they stay together? Maybe...
Buying my tickets tonight to their Philly & DC show cause I'm a megafan. It's ok they know, we just all overlook that. Feel free to do the same.
This Fall is shaping up to be good times with lots of familiar faces and lasting memories. It's crazy to think of all the rad things that have happened in less than a years time, and how they've all came to be. Honestly if you scripted it and ran through 100 times, things would never end up as they have. It's more than being in the right place at the right time, it's all about how you present yourself and what you take from life.
I'm glad I got my friends, memories, and opportunities to get me through these next seven weeks. When you put it like that it doesn't seem that far away. Why didn't I start calculating like this sooner?

I've noticed, people, they all have motives.
Different, yet all the same.
I fumble through every word that was spoken,
and I barely knew your name.

This made me laugh (repost from another blog)

this is why my dad rules. he sends me emails like this:

“The academy is gets a great review in the NYTimes for its new cd. Says that Beckett has one of the great voices in emo. I have time to read it sitting on a plane in Manchester NH that is departing an hour late because they can’t find an adaptor that would let them put air in the tire.

Pete Wentz”

its so insane that my dad knows about emo and bills last name.

haha.

Someday you'll understand that everything is A.O.K.

My friends scare me sometimes. I got a text message a few days ago saying I've been down and if I need to talk about it, I could. I think I'm doing far better than I have been, but maybe better isn't good enough. Another friend basically agreed and said they were worried about me. At this point, I say worry if you'd like but I know I'm good. Consider all the events going on in my life and not just the surface.
I'm probably handling things far better than anyone else would had it been them...

Yesterday was eventful

I woke up pretty early and permed my hair, no more nasty nappy mess going on. My scenetastic bird's nest is no more!! Did some other things, hauled ass to see Empires at Ottobar. I love that band and wished I could've stayed and hung out especially after the looks I received. Haha. Instead I opted to celebrate my cousin's birthday with some family and her friends. She's always looked out for me and made me feel older than I was, big fan of that one. And if you haven't caught on by now I have a very large family that I'm close to so when I say cousin it's probably not the same one as before. I feel and look amazing, who would've thought. Good times and made a new friend Evelyn I will be visiting again soon. Left went to Sonar, met this awesome chick in the bathroom. She was from Philly, 23 and hella rad. We bonded over our knowledge of MC Hammer and the ability to do the percolator. I hope to see Megan again in life, I wish more people were good people. Changed from Indie show attire to Saturday clothes and enjoyed the wonderful sight that is Parkway Drive. Yeah Empires and Parkway Drive, you have no idea what I listen to, stop trying. Haha almost forgot jammed out to Paramore driving back into the city, it just felt right. Left out of there ventured closer to the water, squeezed my car into a tight ass spot and met up with some cats at Fletcher's. Yet another entertaining rock show of a totally different genre. Caught up with some peoples before finally getting a little nourishment and telling Renee about the latest in my romantic life. "Super super is no longer super super?" Come on Renee don't lose hope. After catching my breath it was time to party, my friends can be good people when they want to be and its nice to party and just be. No pressure, no expectations, just a group of kids that like you for you. After Sisqo, Asshole and Four Year Strong, I couldn't ignore my craving for grape juice anymore. Not just grape juice but Welch's Grape Juice, the one that makes your lips pucker. Mmmm. Finally went back to my house more than 12 hours later, completed some internet tasks and slept the most uneventful sleep I've had in months. I honestly think I didn't wake up at all nor did I feel the weight of the masses weighing me on my pillow. Maybe this is a start of being able to breath on my own without gasping for oxygen and dropping the ball.

Maybe

I had the most realistic out there dream

I went to bed at 5am, giving myself a little under 2 hours to rest. I debated if I should just stay awake and watch a movie or sleep. Finally decided to sleep and my dream turned out to be a nice little motion picture.
I won't go into details but I need to look a lot of things up. There were some people there I didn't want to show up, some people I love and some random ass things. Such as some dude had an orange hummer I thought it was my car so I put things in the trunk and realized it wasn't my car when I saw this surfer lookin kid tied and gagged in the trunk. I took my stuff back out thought about freeing him and decided to keep the status quo cause I didn't want to end up like him.
What else happened? Umm I got the phone call of my life, but woke up well before I could act on it.
I climbed this giant hammock thing and roped swang across a pool, rapping. Umm one of my friends aunt's worked at Qdoba in the mall. She messed up my burrito but finally got it right. (I've never met this relative before in real life).
There were showers in my dream but more of, blah blah is taking a shower and not the visual of a shower. I was in a different state for sure. There was also Denny's in the dream.

Yup, I'm crazy...

I'm always one step ahead

It's hard to see where your life is leading these days, yet you believe that you would be happier if you knew for sure. Your thoughts are weighted down by responsibilities, so it's difficult to imagine a solution to your current blues. Paradoxically, accepting the truth as it is -- even if it's less than your ideal -- can put an end to your moodiness.

Done and done if I do say so myself. I need to just focus and believe and be the catalyst for my life.

Just a thought

So little candy bars are called fun sized. Does that mean you have more fun than a bigger bar? And then can one assume that smaller packaged things are more fun than normal or large packaged things?
I guess we now know why I'm so much gosh-darn fun :)

Preach

It's hard to know what's going on because those people you usually rely on for a reality check are not very reliable now. A close family member or friend could bring unnecessary confusion into your life by not telling you exactly what is happening. Unfortunately, others don't share your experience and, therefore, your perspective. Listen to your inner voice rather than the outer ones.
My horoscope could not have been more on the money. Too bad I've already been seeing this for the past few days, I guess today will be the worst well most extreme.

Yanno what sucks the most, is that people tell you to your face that you deserve this or that, and that they are a great friend to you and they would always be there. But when it comes down to it, they are the ones that hurt you most. Not only do they not realize it, they don't care.

What's my motivation?

Honestly I'd rather be home in bed. It's really cold and I'm super super tired and these ads are getting redundant. Good news is that I've been at work for three and a half hours already so the day is practically halfway done. Leaving to get lunch today should be a mood booster, I'm just done with these pale walls. I should sleep more

yup

I really do want everything to work out like a motion picture ending

Crushed

Statement: I'm pissed, no I'm beyond pissed. I don't even know what my emotion is...
Reply: Myspace might have it

Sorry

I haven't been around much late and I apologize. It's August and I'm doing my best to burn the candles at both ends without running out of wick.

Went to Virgin Fest this weekend, Kanye West always seems to put things in perspective for me and confirmed that I'm doing things right in my own way. He should be a far more celebrated rapper. Lil Wayne delayed the entire production but that was expected. Adam Lazzara is ridiculous and Hayley Williams commands every crowd. Dave Grohl is a funny man and Moby makes you feel like you're in a totally different place. Good times and really good people all-around.

I'm about to sue McDonald's or at least bitch a major fit. So pissed at them. Once I calmed down from McDonald's my heart got shoved into my throat and my stomach twisted in knots. Not a good feeling and it's even worst when you can't do anything about it.

I'm doing alright, my mom is worried about my welfare and my friends my heart. So things are just about normal.

Life is flying by

It's August and as expected I'm rapidly losing track of my days. Work is coming at me from all directions but as of now, I've been able to manage. Hopefully I can keep that up after next week when things are in a crunch. My sanity is a bit iffy though, but you all think I'm crazy to begin with anyway...
I've been in a weird mood but feeling lighter than the past, the world is no longer weighing me down beyond 9.8 m/s squared. Yes I walk around knowing the acceleration of gravity. Anywho, just found out a band I wanted to see is coming to Maryland but shit ain't close. Maybe next go around. Speaking of bands, I've been listening to the strangest selections a bad combo of sugar and grit. Not really sure who or what I'm looking for but I have 12 more days to play around.
The search for love is at its normal status whatever that may be, hard to explain in the best sense.
I am in desperate need of Claritin and Saline Spray. That would be the bee's knees.

I found myself thinking about that night on the steps talking about Z Packs and being shot in the head, it was a simpler time back then...

Update

So vandals cost me $175. That sucks. I was sick all weekend and barely sat in an upright position until I forced myself to face the world on Sunday. Definitely feel better but my body is still a bit worn. The idea of being a band slut still baffles me. My appetite is semi-back. August is the worst month ever.

Yup that covers the lot of it

I wish I told you

I'm the first one to say, no need living in the past or to say should've did this. What if I would've just did this. Learn and move on, but sometimes it's so much harder to not dwell on the moments because that may have been the only chance. I don't know about you but that scares me...

I candy coat and cover everything, but I'm still hiding underneath.

hey boy hey

Now would be the perfect time to find that boy that makes me lose my words and hide my face. Eventhough I could only hang out with him at random hours of the night, I'm worth it. haha. He'd just have to ask himself "1127pm....what are her intentions?" :)

Sidenote:
Should've...

I should be laying in bed on my laptop

Anywhere but here.

Lately I've been listening to Yellowcard, Armor, Rage Against the Machine, The Postal Service. I just want to put on some headphones, curl up in a tight ball, turn off all the light, close the curtains and listen to Hidden in Plain View. Maybe hold my Panda and shed a tear.
It breaks my heart knowing there's nothing I can do to fix things, especially when I'm the only one in earshot of the pleas for help. I just keep saying, I took the wrong year off. And time and time again it's proved true.
Don't bother looking at my last.fm to see if I'm truly been listening to those bands or just trying to get scene points. I'll tell you right now, you'll see Four Year Strong, Forever the Sickest Kids, and probably Every Avenue. At work I tend to play whatever I've recently bought and is still in my car, I really need to get another harddrive. I miss my good CDs. In no way am I saying that those 3 aren't good, just that they don't evoke the emotions that Dream to Make Believe does and probably never will.
I never talk about my feelings or anything because I don't like it when people worry about me. The last thing I'd ever want would be someone to lose sleep over my well being, just leave the worrying to me. I'll figure everything out somehow, someway it's what I do. I'm a fighter.
Just know if I seem distance it's cause I am, I might be physically here but mentally I'm miles away probably in a different timezone. My brain in one location, my body another, my spirit a third and my heart lost. It's times like this that makes me thankful for the friends I have and the people that care oh so much about me. Also my strong will because had this been 4 years ago, I would be searching desperately for that one person that was drinking tonight and joining them shot for shot. Never again have I said and meant "I'm going to drink til I can't feel", nor do I ever want to.
Just know I'm thankful for who you are, what you do and what you mean. I don't want to talk about it but I do. But I just want to talk not really listen, not get a second opinion just say words out of my mouth that have some sort of meaning and call it a day. When I look at you with nothing but hope searching for a "everything will be fine" then feel free to say your piece. <3
I'm not depressed just down. I'm not suicidal just down. I'm not anything extreme just down. Can't be 100% happy all the time but that doesn't mean the end of the world. I have to say this because it seems that whenever I'm feeling less than peachy people get scared and talk and worry. And like I said I hate the worry. I'm fine, well not fine fine but I'll be fine. I'll be great. I just need time to sit, breathe, think, recharge. That's not coming in August and by the looks of things not September either. Time will fly by and I will do my best to be around but I know that my job simply doesn't allow for it.
Come visit me, we'll sit in the freezing basement, listen to the radio, and chat it up while I grind more than rush hour traffic.

I'm a mess, I'm a wreck.
I am perfect and I have learned to accept:
All my problems and short comings,
Cause I am so visceral yet deeply inept.

In case you forgot...

...I only go to shows for scene points and to look cool. Don't get the story twisted and think I actually care about your band or supporting this scene.

I love people and feel sorry for anyone who truly believes that. Don't worry about why I'm here or what I do, if it concerns you then you shall know. There are bigger things than some girl enjoying herself night after night to lose sleep over, I'm just saying!

Always up or down, never down and out

No matter what I'll find a reason to wake up in the morning and keep smiling. It's what I do, I push through in hopes of better tomorrows. In hopes of not sounding ungrateful or selfish, I could really use a change of pace.
I truly wish I knew the lesson to be learned and the reason for all the trials and tribulations, I'd love to do better and be better if I only knew.

Love you babygirl

=D
Wow, I'm on top of the world. Feels like my guardian angels decided to reward me with one amazing time. Golly, I honestly forgot what pure joy felt like til right now. Normally I'd say long overdue but I think it was right on time, need to experience some shit lows to appreciate that great high. A super super high if you will.

Damn there's a smile on my face and a spark in my eye and a pain in my side. Must be happiness.

Seriously???

What the fuck did I ever do to you? Saw an amazing movie that brought a smile to my face with two of the best people someone could have in their life. To only be brought down, not gently but sucker punched in the gut and then curbed.
Someone for whatever reason decided to break my windshield wiper off my car. Yeah, really. Karma is a bitch and I know first hand cause of the fucked up things that have been happening in my life, so I know that fate is gonna catch up to all one day. Hopefully theirs is coming quicker than ours.

I really wish I had money to throw around cause this fucking sucks. Another $120 I don't have, plus labor...

If you come over, then together, willing we'll take over the world

Sing it Loud - No One Can Touch Us

love

An when I kiss you on the lips
You know that I mean it
An when I get your name tattooed to my neck
You better never forget
So dance with me, and never let me go
And I will always let you know
Girl, be always loving me
And I'll always be your G

Have you ever thought

what if? Not in the typical sense, but in the dream sense. If that even makes any bit of sense. Basically I've found myself wondering, had circumstances been different would things be any different. I find myself thinking no, even though it should be yes. Maybe I'm too much of a realist for my own good.

I like you better
In any weather
When you're not trying
It's so inviting
I don't deserve you
I can't afford you
Unless you're timeless

Could've...

...damn, damn, damn.

A conversation via text messages

Me: We need to hang soon, warped tour stick together let good things happen will be in full effect. We saw what happened when I'm not with you.
Mandy: haha yeahhhhh about that. warped lets stick together fullllll effect allll the way
Me: You know I'm down, lol. I gotta make out with somethin
Mandy:haha something? you mean someone lol haha
Me: hahahaha beggers can't be choosers. ;)
Mandy: lol I love you
Me: and I you

you think you know, but you have no idea

I heart my friends

Let's party

While many people are focused on their vacations, you are driven now to get your life and your career back in order. The Sun is in your 10th House of Public Responsibility, and it may be time to live up to your obligations -- to yourself and to loved ones. Instead of concentrating all your efforts today on getting ahead, leave some time to do something crazy, like having fun.

The stars want me to get crazy, I'm down...

I'm just a nobody who cares

Fall tours are slowly being announced and already they are ruining my brain. Do I go to Recher or The National? And if I go to The National do I just go back to Richmond the next day or should I just skip Richmond altogether and not even go to that EPIC tour? Better question who in their right mind would not go to the close ridic show to ride with me to the mediocre one? Well they would consider it meh while I'm peeing my pants trying to be in two places at once.
If this is any indication on how things are going to be, I'm hoping someone I love plays Vegas on my birthday and not Baltimore. I'll tell you right now, if need be I will drive hours for The Academy Is... tour. FTSK & Cobra not so much. Ahhhhhhh! What to do what to do?

By the by, I absolutely love UTIOG

I know already

I get dealt a bum hand quite frequently, occasionally I fold but normally I play it out and hope for the best. I don't really need constant reminders from the peanut gallery of how bad things are. I have no choice but to live my life and I like to highlight the positives and mask over the other shit. You saying, "wow I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't be able to..." or "man that sucks, you're always the one that gets screwed" doesn't help matters nor do I feel better. It just brings me back to reality and makes it a little harder to wake up it the morning. That is if I slept to begin with.

Exactly one month later

Hmm so either I'm really bad at asking questions, or homeboy is bad at answering them.

June:
Hey I should have your number for the next time you're in town and want to hang out.
Yadda Yadda yadda... I'm like super super single now.

July:
How have you been?
You look so sexy.

At least I know what "you look so sexy" means, however I don't know what one should say to that when caught completely off guard. I'll just say maybe dreams really do come true. We'll see.


ps: I refuse to be a resident of CB Nation or Lametown, USA. Thanx buddy!

Shady bitches

I'm at work, my bosses are in St. Louis. They left Monday night. Oh wait, our company week long vacation to St. Louis was canceled.

Yup!

Smiling

Just read this blog and it made me appreciate life's idiosyncrasies.
"I just called my neighbor and asked to borrow peanut butter. We met in the hallway. He had peanut butter. I had a knife and bread. I spreaded the peanut butter I needed onto the bread. He insisted I take more. I did. Then we made a few jokes about how crazy it was that we were actually doing that. Then I said “I’m gonna go blog that this happened.” The End."

By the by, yesterday was a good time even though I didn't watch my favorite band ever...

To-do list

These things help ease my mind. People wonder how I stay so calm cool and collective no matter what. Organizing lists would probably be at the top of the list. That and my traditional "don't care" attitude.

• Pack
• Work-Out
• Go to Movies
• Finish Hair
• Eat
• Find Clothes
• Prep Business Cards
• Figure out Cleveland
• Finish to-do list
  

I refuse to have a bad week

Yesterday sucked it was bad on top of suck smooshed down with oh damn. That will not be the case for any other day this week so all the effed up things need to go on vacay and come back Sunday. kthanksbye

On a lighter note, TAI's single comes out today so I'm going to pee my pants a little more and buy it when I get home, so I can cry myself to sleep. Shut up, cause you don't know!

Warped tour is literally tomorrow, I have no idea or plans but I'll tell you this, if anyone asks me to come tomorrow, I'm doing it. End of story, so when I'm in Philly and Dude says you coming tomorrow? And I say uh probably not, and they say you should come, Imma say you should make room. I'm a little over doing the responsible thing and ready to get wreckless. That sounds horrible, hopefully I don't end up saying "it was a good idea at the time", but in all honesty I know I will.

Oh and there are all sorts of randoms lurking me as of late weather its via myspace, twitter, this blog, or my portfolio. Pretty sketchtastic, but this is what it means to be an inhabitant of the twenty-first century. Sidenote, all those links have my name in them, am I becoming vain? Hmm...

WHERE IS VEGAS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Reason #2 to smile

Can't get you out of my system

How do you move on and forget when you're constantly reminded? And it's not like "aww it's blue, that was our color" no it's I see your picture everywhere I turn or hear your voice or someone else is talking about you. It is exact 100% references to the very thing I wish wasn't the focus of my thoughts. Even when I turn everything off and hide myself away, you find a way to reach me. Don't know how much more I can take but at least I'll get some closure soon.

This is why I wake up at 646am

Do yourself a favor and click this link.

Animator vs. Animation

Why?

Why are people assholes? No seriously...
Fuck motherfuckers who can't park and fuck bitches that don't leave notes. I just hope that one day they will see the wrongness of their ways. I also hope that karma returns the favor, maybe not in anything extreme just enough for them to feel shitty for a minute.

While I'm ranting, why is it that people can't be sensible and logical? I understand not everyone thinks the same and that's the beauty of being a human, but seriously how hard is it to shut up your mouth not jump to conclusions or blow things out of proportion enough to come to an amicable decision. Do cats not realize that hysterics waste time and energy and make you someone no one wants to deal with? I'm just glad that after countless hours things are finally getting accomplished.

Lastly, I'm starting to think that deep down I'm not a good person. Just because it seems no matter how far I bend over backwards or how polite I am, things never go my way. And its not like a selfish, bratty I never get what I want. It's a out of 10 options whichever one fucks over monique the most, is the one that plays out. Now I'm a strong believer that what goes around comes around, and good things happen to good people and to those who wait. And nothing is owed to you, you have to go out there and get it for yourself and all that other rah rah sis boom bah shit. But damn, who did I fuck over royally in my past? Cause I can't catch a break. Nevertheless, I roll with the punches and do the best I can to make things the most positive. Just wish fate made things a little easier every once in a while. No matter the case, I'll never stop being me or stop doing what I feel is the selfless right thing to do, and hopefully people won't take too much advantage of it.

My horoscope for today didn't help things. "Be careful about building your plans on unpredictable feelings, for if your emotions change, so can the foundation of your grand adventure. Still, putting together a play book is a smart idea now as long as you don't focus on what you want. Instead be willing to try something very different as you look to see how to do what's best for all." My feelings are already unpredictable and this is going to be an extremely emotional and unpredictable week. Great timing stars. Good thing I'm good on my feet cause it looks like curveballs are ahead.

It's ok because this will always make me smile, til the day it makes me cry...

• About A Girl
• Summer Hair = Forever Young
• His Girl Friday
• The Test
• Rumored Nights
• Automatic Eyes
• Crowded Room
• Coppertone
• After The Last Midtown Show
• Beware! Cougar!
• Paper Chase
• One More Weekend…

oh and fuck overdraft fees!

If I wore my bathing suit top to warped tour...

would you still be my friend? Haha it's so freakin hot outside lately, I dunno if I can bare my usual 2-3 layers. As my mom would say "it's 90 better wear 2 tank tops." Maybe I'll go balls to the wall and rock the swim halter and jeans. At least when I get hosed down with water balloons, I'll dry well the top of me.
I do have a legit outfit in store that's so hot if I find the right shoes, of course. I don't have time for this. Ahhh!!! Maybe I'll just be a complete ass and wear this:


Sidenote: I really want this shirt

Sorry bout ya

So according to my horoscope, copied below of course, I should get out the dreambook and analyze my dream. I'll probably figure something about about some people that is going to freak me out more than I already am. With that info I'll share it with a friend or two. One or all of which will hate on me for one reason or another. Knowing this info will result in tension with my friend(s), I would want to keep it to myself but since I'm going to be spazzing out it's not going to work. So I'm just gonna tell them and let the cards play as they lie. INTENSE!

Your willingness to delve into the mysteries of your own psyche can lead you to buried treasure today. But it's not so simple when what you bring into awareness creates tension with your peers. Keeping the intensity to yourself is not a viable solution. Facing the resistance from others takes courage yet will lead to positive transformation.

Here's a pet peeve of mine

If I ask you a question that you should know the answer to because its your opinion, idea, information to know. Don't say yeah ask so-and-so. I could understand if its a story you don't want to relive or your super busy and just told it to someone else. But not when it's do you want white or blue.

FUCKIN SHIT!

My dreams are so effed

I had at least 3 warped tour related nightmares. Awesome!
Then on my first attempt to go to bed I had a very strange dream. I picked up Zack and Christine from the mall and were taking them places. For some reason got angry said I needed a drink and pulled up to Applebee's. But there was a ridic line and Applebee's was more like a bar than a restaurant. Not only that but we met this super nice old couple while waiting in line and the line was in an AC Moore or Frank's or something like that. So we were grabbing random shit and playing with it. My dream just kinda ended, never got that drink nor bought anything from Frank's.
My second attempt I went to Arundle Mills for a FTSK show. Hung out with the band for a bit, watched their set from the balcony (Arundle Mills is 1 floor in case you don't know). I ended up running into Ebony who I guess I had cancelled plans with earlier cause she said something like "you could've just said you were coming here instead". I thought I went to the show by myself but at the end of the night Christine was there and asked something about when we were leaving cause her and someone wanted to get food first. I think the someone was Alexa might have been Stephani, maybe both. Umm I ended up sitting in some small quiet room talking for like an hour with one of the members (you can ask for details in person not sharing them here). A while later I was in the parking lot looking at stars and sending a few text messages while waiting for Christine and company to return, guess they went out to dinner. While waiting a van flashed their lights at me; it was FTSK but I was confused cause I had just saw them all get on the bus for the night. Apparently they bring a van with them places to go out, I got pulled into the van and my dream ended with me saying "I've been kidnapped" as the van drove past my returning friends.
The last dream I had before finally waking up for good was quite quick, or maybe I just can't remember it all. Either way, I went to the movies with Mandy and Ebony. Don't know what we went to see but it was a comedy and I was amped to see it. Turned the corner and almost dropped my popcorn because someone I knew (don't think I ever saw who it was) was in there with their friends and said "what the fuck are you doing here?" and I said "this is my hometown not yours...". Mandy said "wow what are the odds" and then started explaining to Ebony the situation but I wasn't close enough to hear and she was speaking softly so the other party didn't know what she was talking about.

yeah...this is what goes on in my head when I have no legit control.

According to Facebook...

You are a CLOSET FREAK!

You let out your freak occasionally, but you have so much left to accomplish! There is something deeply naughty about the way you approach sex, you just need to find someone to unleash your inner beast. Find them and find yourself!

Say no to white

Blackle

Use less light on your computer monitors, saving energy and money and the world!

How bad do I suck?

I was just asked "do you have time for me to have a life crisis or are you super busy with your site? cause i mean i can hold it"

Do I really come off as a self-involved workaholic? Cause that's and issue. Let me just remind all of you, I would put my dreams on hold for my friends. I'm never too busy or too tired or too sick for one of you.

edit: undo

GOD BLESS THE EDIT BUTTON! I TEND TO OVERREACT WHEN MY FRIENDS ARE INVOLVED. I WASN’T THERE AND ALL I HAVE TO GO ON IS THE ACCOUNT OF ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND ALL I EVER WANT TO DO IS SUPPORT THEM. THERE IS NO FURTHER NEED FOR ME TO BLOW THIS OUT OF PROPORTION. I HATE HEARING PEOPLE CALLED THAT WORD. IT MAKES ME CRINGE. THATS ALL. KIND OF LIKE AT THE END OF THE CHAPELLE SHOW WHEN PEOPLE WERE LAUGHING AT THE RACIST JOKES RATHER THAN AT THE SATIRE OF THEM.

I'm buying a new computer

I've been craving a new PC for some time, but didn't see a need for one. Nor had anything caught my eye until this HP came out. I'll probably get it for my birthday or Christmas as a gift to myself then get pissed when February rolls around and there's a better one out. I'll more than likely store my current Gateway in a closet for when I move out. I don't know who needs to own 3 computers, but sounds like a good idea to me. If I keep saving up and my car keeps doing fine, I'll be able to buy it in cash!! Yay for that :)

If someone buys my computer before me, I'll cut them. j/k
Not really...

Blah la la la

Losing my sight, losing my mind wish somebody tell me I'm fine...

What's going on Internet people? Yet another day of little sleep and a lot of work. Good news my website is 98% done only have to add three more pieces when I get home (those files were still at work). Which means all those sick ideas I've been coming up with for 2 months can start becoming tangible things. Well virtually tangible...if that's even possible.
Hmm what else is there? I keep thinking about this guy and the likelihood of anything coming out of it and that in turn makes me think about the likelihood of me with anyone. In all honesty I don't even think my body physically cares anymore, usually when you're near someone you find attractive your body reacts, mine hasn't in two months. I'm not really alarmed since I've lost motivation, maybe warped tour will change things.
Speaking of warped tour, that's next fucking week. Oh my damn. I've successfully found a way into 2 of the 3 dates I'm attending. The 3rd will more than likely get solidified at the first two. I've also found a ride to Cleveland and home from Cleveland also to Maryland. Just need to get a ride from Maryland to my Cleveland ride. I'm also looking for upgrades in all three so if you're reading this and attending let a girl know. If you wanted to attend MD but don't have the cash, let me know cause we may be able to barter a ticket for ride.
I still can't believe I'm going to Ohio, or Nevada for that matter. Maybe next year I'll make it to Canada, California and Illinois. Maybe I'll go to Pittsburgh next week too. August is around the corner so I gotta get all my fun in now.

Oh to add to my wishlist, in case you guys want to be smart and use my blog to figure out what to buy me for a birthday gift, I want a bunch of CDs that list is coming eventually. I also need a yellow american apparel hoodie and casual black shoes. I also decided that I'm going to get the HTC Touch Pro phone.
article 1 | article 2

Well I guess ignorance is bliss...

Rolling Stone Article

"you know what? you call my friend a “n_gger”, i dont even give a fuck what happens to you. i dont want to see you in this scene. i dont want to see you at shows. you are who we write songs about. you are who we think about when we hate. radiohead, karma police over and over again in my head.

what a joke.

you are fucking pathetic and anyone that disagrees should put their white hood on too. i dont want your ticket money. i dont want your cd sales. id rather be poor and unknown.

i am angrier than i have been in a long time. hate upon hate upon hate.

thank god for my friends."
~Pete Wentz

"Damn right you bash their heads in. I have no tolerence for things like that whatsoever, it's just plan rude and ignorant. If your gunna beat someone up, might as well be for a good reason *cough cough* certain former frontman of another band starting with E T F *cough cough*I'm just saying."
~Perez Hilton

A new way of looking

Snail?

Opportunity?

For the record

There are still ants on my desk and I'm tired of killing them cause it makes me feel bad, I'm also tired of them crawling on me...

And I still have no idea what "super super single" means, but I'm going to say that I am too!

I'm in a glass case of emotion.

I feel like I just got rushed to the hospital and any minute I'm going to go into labor. Scary but joyous at the same time. Last night around 3am, I softly launched my website, moniquedidit.com. Now if you've seen Ocean's 13 you may remember the soft open, if you haven't let me explain. A soft open much like my soft launch is when a small amount of people are allowed to experience the casino or website and give you feedback. You work out all the kinks and get everything perfect before the grand opening. We all know what a grand opening is so I don't have to explain that. Anywho, if you go to the site, hit me up and let me know what you dig and what sucks. No need to be gentle just give it to me.
On a similar note, my horoscope pretty much told me not to get shit done today and enjoy myself. I think that's suiting since I just handled shit last night and Alexia is coming over today to spend time with me. "Your giddy optimism turns more cautious today as the reality of what you want to accomplish finally begins to sink in. You could begin to stress so much about the completion of a project or a phase of your life that your goals slip farther away into the future. Relax and enjoy yourself for a while; you'll return to your work refreshed and raring to go."

I got soooo much on my mind, but I need to get back to my job, more than likely I'll make another post in an hour or so and i don't think any of you check that often so this is practically pointless except for my own well being, which is kinda important...

Shit is poppin off

moniquedidit.com

So freaky

http://www.sliceoflifetv.com/index.php?id=505dab9e
Haha thanks Mary Anne

Answer: The Matches

Did you hear that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer dropped more than $80,000 on a high-class prostitute and had to resign? And did you know that everybody in America wanted to see a picture of this prostitute because they were curious about what kind of woman can charge thousands for sex? And that yesterday somebody discovered that this prostitute a MySpace page? Did you know that everybody went to visit this page yesterday? How many people do you think went there? Would you believe 1.8 million people? And did you know that she is a singer, and that this page was was a MySpace music page?
So here's my question: Who was the featured band on MySpace Music yesterday, the band whose smiling mugs greeted 1.8 million who visited the site?

Answer: (See Title)


Stole this from Shawn's Blog, too good not to repost. This is from March not yesterday.

My horoscope is against me

Planning social events in advance enables you to get out and have more fun. But don't be surprised if you decide that you want to bail at the last minute. Of course your responsibilities come first, yet downtime with friends can actually make you more productive when you finally get back to work.

No way stars, I'm getting my stuff done TODAY!

so maybe today won't be so bad

Things that put a smile on my face:

Wentz: ps if you ever get a chance to try music id on a blackberry (or whatever phone has it), its pretty insane. you hold your phone up to a speaker and it tells you what song is playing. its like harry potter and steve jobs all mixed up into one.
I honestly think we'd be great friends if we ever met and it was in a social setting.

And this video. In case you don't know the starring characters it includes my favorite band and one of their BFFs who happens to be my idol. Well not really idol but yeah...

Go nuts, go apeshit

freak out

shaky hands, check.
shallow breathing, check.
heavy eyes, yup.
lost of motivation, mmhmm.
unclear thoughts, check.

Shit, it's not even August yet...

Priority Number 1

If every assignment is priority number one, what should get done first? Do you keep working on the project you've gotten halfway finished or do you toss that aside and grind on the newbie? Maybe when there's two priority number ones the oldest becomes priority number two and anything after gets pushed back in order as well. Maybe people should use better language like due dates...
Overworked.

Funniest thing I heard all day

So I was listening to death metal and I was cleaning, giving new music a chance. All I heard was "oh Lucifer," and I was like "ooooh hell no" and ran & turned that shit off.

Love my friends

Rollercoaster

Don't have much time to write, gotta get back to work. Just wanted to say, people annoy me. Facebook is taking away my little bit of joy I still have. I do far too much in a day. Top 2 bands released album info this week. I need motivation and sleep. When I sleep its restless and all I do is think so its not even sleep sleep. Oh and Ebony sent me the sweetest card ever, definitely helped my current state of mind.

Basically said you need a friend to say I understand, your crazy, or nothing at all; and I'm all three. She thanked me for being a good friend and hopes to be one in return. <3

A few words from William Beckett

So as some of you probably know, we've finished recording our third album. Since we got off of the Sleeping With Giants tour, right up until Day 1 of Warped, we've been writing, flying, singing, playing, laughing, crying, bleeding, and ultimately, celebrating what we feel is by far our best work yet. 6 years ago we started this whole journey, and from that moment on, it's been a fun, freaky, fast road, leading us to right here, right now. This is the album all of us have wanted to write since we fell in love with music. I don't want to spoil the suspense, so I won't say too much more than... (Fast Times At Barrington High) August 19th.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ahhhhhhhh

Beckett: We're finishing up the artwork now actually, but the recording process is completely finished. We couldn't be happier. It's the album I've been waiting to make. I'm so incredible excited that we made it. I can't wait for people to hear it. It's gonna be an infectious little number. Infectious and scintillating?

So maybe this will be the album I think is incredible and they don't break up and ends the viscous cycle. Wishful thinking...

The World really is shallow

William Beckett cut his hair and the scene freaked out. I know I'm late but it's funny that people still care 2 months later. We have more important things to worry about, like me liking their new CD...

March 28th
June 25th

Whatcha doing?

When people ask me what I've been up to, the answer "not too much" doesn't sit well. Guess no one can come to terms that living vicariously though me would eventually get dull. Sorry that everyday isn't some grand adventure, but I'm happy with my lifestyle. Typically I wake up, go to work, get things done at home while hours of my life fly by, then I watch TV and schedule the tasks for the next day. FUN!!!! Friends occasionally call or text and I listen to the drama of their day while adding in my two cents. They feel a bit better and we end communication. On the event that I leave my house I'm running errands. Every once in a while someone will accompany me, but typically solo.
I rarely go out and have fun these days, its just not in the agenda. Putting on a smile while everyone around you bitches or is phony gets tiring. So I figure why immerse yourself into situations like that. When I do go out, it's about 11pm and I get home at 3-7am. 9 times out of 10 I meet up with a friend or 2, go to a bar then end up at someone's house, then go out to eat. Those are the better nights. Unless of course the places I go, or people I see, are filled with negativity. All in all that pretty much sums up my day-to-day life. If you don't believe me, here's what I did last week:

Monday I came back from Virginia ridulously early or late depending on how you look at it. Couldn't get to sleep so I talked to Alexa for 3 hours til she passed out. Finally napped around 7am got up at 10. Went to Target, McDonald's and finally DC. Got cultured for hours and found some much needed inspiration. Although it wasn't as relaxing as intended due to the fact that I'm a psych on call to my friends. Ran into some sceneters at Hard Rock, danced to a FTSK song from across the street, walked around, got kidnapped and surprised, hung out with friends while they finish out their duties for the night, had a great conversation then a long drive home with minimal rest.
Tuesday was pissed most the day due to unneccasary rudeness. Decided not to quit my job. On the drive home tended to several friends as they vented. Continued as I worked on a few things. Gathered my thoughts, worked out showered and sat around in my pajamas. Sent a couple myspace messages I had no intention of hearing back from and watched TV.
Wednesday, was nothing special as well. Talked to some friends, gave some advice. Was very tired so opted not to run or do cardio. Also passed up a good opportunity to get some work done and cleaned for a bit as well.
Thursday I was exhausted, had a decent day at work. Had a scare from Rae. I was supposed to go to a happy hour or hang out with Devin or go to Dew Action tour or eat Sushi. Didn't do any. Did get to spend time with my cousin which is always fun, also fixed my tired and went to Blockbuster. Spend some time with my parents as well which is rare. Apologized to Devin for not doing anything, I never see that kid anymore, I'll work on it. Took a break from advice giving and overall listening to watch TV. I even went to the movies and Denny's. Talk about an eventful day!
Worked from home on Friday. My dad came home early so I actually got to talk to him. Went on errands with my mom, bought a wii. Ate food, cleaned and left for Dew Action. Hung out with Christine, another friend I haven't gotten to spend time with, watched BMX Dirt and then half of Good Charlotte's set. Left dropped off Christine, flew to McDonald's, changed clothes, ate at record speed, gave Rae directions while talking to another friend about her drama. Got to the bar later than expected, sorry Rae. Saw some more faces attempted to reschedule my sushi date with Sara, this has been in the making since November if that's any indication on how far behind I am on my frienships. Met some good people and hung out with them for a few hours before finally crawling into my basement.
Saturday morning, I practically kick Rae out after being 4 hours later than her expected departure. Run errands, got some things done for my mother, ate and watched Ocean's 13. Much needed nap but only for 20 minutes. Get a ride downtown, watch Skate park, meet up with Devin and Laurel spend the day with them ending with skate vert. What better way to celebrate Skateboarding day? Hike to my ride, eventually get home. Turned down dinner at Denny's due to time and my "about to vomit" feeling. Talk to Alexa while I drive dizzily to Burger King, needed someone to know where I was in case I crashed or passed out. Finally nourished my body while keeping Ebony company, via cellphone. Later realize I need to finish looking for something for my mom, Alexa needing to get out the house drives down and we go to Super WalMart. Randomly get interrograted about my whereabouts, still not sure what warranted that but it's always good to know when friends think you're hiding things from them. WalMart doesn't have it, after debate I eat again so I don't get a migraine, we watched a movie in the freezing cold and then she left so I could sleep.
Nothing to report on Sunday, other than my mom woke me up so I'd run errands with her. She told me about her night out, and got me lunch. Ate while watching 27 dresses, end up sleeping for hours. Not sure if it was the overexcurion, lack of a proper eating schedule or just my natural exhausted state of living. Get woken up, watch a little more of the movie and go back to sleep. Woke up again hours later and I eat while giving some advice and coming up with ideas. Finally touch a computer and answer my messages. Also changed my myspace around a tad. Non of which are from the people I contacted, as expected. Attempt to finish the movie and fell asleep again. Finally went to bed around 4am.

And that ladies and gentlemen is the fun and excitement all of you have been looking for. No syke, you've missed out on nothing aside from lots of advice giving, being the shoulder to cry on, errands and me getting things done. Of course I did have a little entertainment but for the bulk, lots of cancellations and not much more. So next time you say what have you been up to and I say nothing just refer back to this post and see that nothing is legit nothing.

four words

Denver the Last Dinosaur

Thanks Ebony, for reminding me about this cartoon and brightening my day. :)

New halloween costume

According to a friend, this should be my Halloween costume.

Sodahead

Did Miley Cyrus with her song "Rockstar" rip off Lustra's song "Scotty Doesn't Know"?

Listen to Lustra's "Scotty Doesn't Know" and then listen to Miley Cyrus' song "Rockstar." See if you notice any similarities between the two songs, keeping in mind that Lustra's version came first. Did Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana rip off Lustra's music? *The first answer choice is Lustra's "Scotty Doesn't Know," and the second is Miley Cyrus' "Rockstar.

Cash rules everything around me

I'm 90% sure that I have to buy a tire. This sucks. Everything happens for a reason, and I wish I knew why recently I've had to spend my money on unexpected things. Not only are they unexpected and necessary but they are things that I don't directly see in my possession. Although I'm complaining I am very thankful that somehow someway through it all I still have the money to be able to afford these expenses without going further in debt. Not too sure how long that will last but at the moment, I'm still hanging in there. Hopefully my friends that owe me will repay me sooner than later because the grand total is getting pretty ridiculous. In the meantime, I cannot afford to lend out anything else to anyone. No matter how small or the reasoning behind it.
On the bright side I don't have 3 flats like someone I know...

Hi I'm monique

There's a million thoughts running through my mind, but that's nothing new. I started to think about who I was as a person, not how others define me but how I define myself. It took me almost half of June to figure it all out, and I'm still not quite sure, but here's what I came up with, in no particular order.

I'm an individual, first and foremost. I do more for others than I do for myself and will bend over backwards to make someone's dream come true. Unfortunately that may mean putting my own on hold. Occasionally people mistake that for being unmotivated, not the case despite being defeated in practically every aspect of life, I wake up thankful for another day and attempt to live it to its fullest. I have unbelievably high goals, but all are within reach if I follow the simple steps of the plan. One day I'll learn how to say no and to be a little selfish.
I'm a giver; I give my opinions, time, money, belongings, and space. If you want something that I have and I care about you, it's yours. Even if it is hundreds of dollars, or a ticket to a concert I've been counting the days to see. And no I'm not the kind of girl that expects something in return; your gratitude is payment enough. Good things come to good people, so I try to surround myself with positive energy and fun times. I know that one day karma will work in my favor due to my kind heart. But I’m not doing the things I do, for a reward that may not ever come.
In the meantime, I tend to have the worst luck. I don't always get what I want, people normally don't come through for me and I've ended many days a little more than heartbroken. Don't consider me an underdog just someone who sets themselves up to be let down.
I'm a graphic designer but not artsy. I appreciate art and the beauty in the world around me, but you wouldn't look at me and think so. I don't draw or sketch or paint. I'm an idealist, I come up with sick ideas of how things should look and figure out a way to execute them, on my computer of course. I like unique color combinations and geometric shapes.
My love of design is mostly visible in my day-to-day attire. People compliment my ability to match the stripe in my shirt with the accent in my hoodie and trim of my shoes. Not a fan of matchy-matchy, but I do adore some coordination.
If I meet a boy that isn't one of my good friends or a friend of theirs that dresses nicely I usually fall in love. Some girls like charming good looks or a certain hair color. I like matching shoes and vests. I'm not materialistic by any means, I just find myself attracted to males with good fashion sense. I also like fucked up hair, light eyes and 6'0". Not 5'11" or 6'1", six feet even. It's not a height thing like a lot of my friends, it's a when we're standing my head comes perfectly to your shoulder thing.
Not like it matters too much, I never get the guy or any guy. I'm just their friend. It's how the cards play out, time and time again. Just when I think I've come to terms with it, I realize just how much it still bothers me. Maybe I'll find that one guy that never gets the girl and we can never get anyone else but each other. Yeah I'm a sap, but you'll never see it in person, just this space I call my blog.
I'm the tough dependable one. In crisis everyone turns to me, so I gotta be tough and solve the problems. Think of it this way, would you want to hysterically call the fire department and when they arrive they are running around flailing their arms more than you are. That's not comforting. So I man-up and be the bigger person so everyone else can crumble. I'm good at puzzles so I can usually put the pieces back together.
Puzzles, word games, anything that challenges my brain is fun to me. 8 years ago I had my heart set on being an engineer, I was going to Kettering, Emery Riddle or MIT and taking a shit ton of physics classes to eventually design and plan space ships. Talk about intense. Gets better, I’m not even really into space ships.
I love science: astronomy, meteorology, physics, biology… There’s something about learning how things work and the reliability that sciences provide that’s very comforting to me. Actually I’m all about learning no matter the subject matter. If there’s something that remotely interests you, I want to know the story.
Hmm what else is there, oh yes the things most of you know me for. I’m a big fan of music. I attend more shows than any one person should. I probably see a stage more times than your favorite touring band. A goal of mine is to go on tour with some friends as their merch girl. At the moment my life isn’t set up to embark on that journey but I’m steadily figuring out a way.
You can find me dancing on the sidewalks, sassing various band members, handing out stickers, or bffing it up with fans. I’m all over the place and tend to talk to anyone. That can be a blessing and a curse. There are 5 words that can make or break my night but always result in eye opening information.
When I’m not at shows, I go to the movies, museums, stores, restaurants and bars. My friends have this way of dragging me out and about all over the mid-atlantic. Usually I drive, so I’m truly the one at blame.
I recently bought a Honda Fit, it’s orange and I spoil it as much as I can. That car is a sign of where my life has been and where its going and each day I drive it, I appreciate things a little more. Rising gas prices are a drag with my travelling life style but I love being able to still afford going with little day-to-day interruptions due to my career job.
Like I said I’m a designer. Soon to quit and be 100% freelance. That scares the shit out of me. But when I pull it off, I’ll probably be the happiest I’ve ever been. People that are living their dreams are usually 90% happier than the masses. I want to be that.
Not really sure what else I can say about me. My favorite color is glitter, my bedroom is seafoam green. I’m not afraid to speak my opinion but I do know how to hold my tongue. I like all kinds of music, very eclectic. My favorite song on an album tends to be the most depressing even with the happy bands. Not because I’m emo but because they have the most real lyrics. I try to get along with everyone but if things are happening that I don’t support I will not stand around and watch them take place. I love modern clean lines and crazy furniture. My favorite designer is Karim Rashid. I love Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. My favorite singer is Mariah Carey where my favorite band is The Academy Is.... I have a degree but most people forget or don’t know altogether. If you need an ear I’ll listen, if you need reality I’ll smack. My favorite TV shows don’t have a script but most have grand prizes. The movies I adore are epically stupid or epic tales. I read books and magazines, and if you see me staring off into the distance it’s because I look at the world differently and everything is a picture.

So this me, good bad all of it, take it for what it’s worth.

Hey friends

I don't even know if my friends read this blog. Or anyone for that matter, actually no that's a lie the counter still goes up so someone is reading. Anyway, I've been pretty MIA as of late, mainly because I'm been extremely exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Some of you called it depression, which it could be but I just see it as I need a break. I need a break from being the things all of you count on me to be. Sorry but I'm really not wonder woman. As always I'm around to talk or hang but until I'm feeling like myself I don't intend to go out my way to do much of anything. So if I contact you before you contact me, consider yourself important to my life cause you're like one of 7.

Wish I could say or do more, but I know if I continue down the path I was a month ago, I'll hate everyone and everything.

<3

No idea

What do you say/do when someone tells you "I'm like super super single now." First of all, who says that? Secondly, what does that even mean? Thirdly, why would someone share that information?

So many questions. I'm utterly clueless... help please!

Bamboozle Sucked

I was looking back on all my blogs and realized there was a void between May 1st and 7th. That's cause I was living out that waste of a weekend called Bamboozle. If you haven't already heard, you probably won't. One day I'll explain to those of you that have no idea, but today isn't it.

still venting...

Venting

Myspace didn't send my message for the second time and there are ants crawling all over my desk. Not fun times.

Location or Situation?

It's been said that I have better luck with guys from other towns. The idea of me moving to the midwest or south or west has been thrown out. As time passes it seems as though they may all be right, maybe my personality doesn't fit in with my location.
Today however I decided that maybe it's not the location at all and its the circumstances. The fact that the guy is from another part of town isn't the issue, it's the point that he's not going to be in town for long. Maybe I'm just a rad girl to hang out with for a couple hours every couple of months. No more no less.
Think about that...

I laugh a little more each time I see it

Not you too Nicholas...

"The new TAI songs are pretty insane. Get stoked."

I'm starting to get scared now...

Fuck you

Because you don't deserve me. And now that I see your true colors, all loyalties felt are now lost at sea.

Just got the motivation I needed to get shit done, and fuck some people over. Thanks! :)

Waiting

I'm starting to sound like a broken record. Seems like no matter what, I can't get it through my head. One day I'll change and I hope it's way sooner than way later because I don't think the path I'm on will allow for later. I just need a smack to the face and a shout in my ear...

Dear Monique,
WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Love,
Yourself

You drive me crazy

Best part is you have no idea, nor is there anything that can be done. Go fig... Maybe one day things can change, not with you well maybe I just meant in general with my outlook on the current situation.

Virtual Shopping

this hat and reversible hoodie are available at loserkids.com

Peterpanda, stop fuckin with me

pps the new tai songs are mind blowing. miles away from where they were. i hope i can sneak a part of a demo and put it up or something.

Why can't we all be like the little boy in the commercial?

So I saw a PSA that was so inspiring and heartfelt. There was a boy at a baseball diamond throwing up the ball and swinging, each time he'd tell himself he was the best hitter in the world. After three strikes, he looks defeated for a moment then has a realization "Three strikes...I'M THE BEST PITCHER IN THE WORLD!!!"

I like books

I was feeling very much like a designer on my drive to work today. Not sure what it was but as Mariah sang and I took in the daily sights I found myself turning sideways and blinking. Next thing I know I've spent an hour looking up design books and have decided that I want/need these for my non-existent library.

1000 New Designs and Where to Find Them: A 21st-Century Sourcebook - Jennifer Hudson
50 Reading Lists - Spin Media
Action Time Vision - Spin
Art Of Looking Sideways - Alan Fletcher
Basics Design: Colour - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Basics Design: Layout - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Basics Design: Print + Finish - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Colour Index 2 - Jim Krause
Cover Art By: New Music Graphics -Adrian Shaughnessy
Creative Advertising: Ideas and techniques from the World's Best Campaigns - Mario Pricken
DIY: Design It Yourself - Ellen Lupton
Eco-Design Handbook: A Complete Sourcebook for the Home and Office - Alastair Fuad-Luke
Fully Booked: Cover Art and Design for Books - Robert Klanten, M. Hubner
Graphics Alive - Edited by Victionary
Guerrilla Advertising - Ty Montague, Gavin Lucas, and Mike Dorrian
Humble Masterpieces: 100 Everyday Marvels of Design - Paola Antonelli
Icons of Graphic Design - Steven Heller and Mirko llics
It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s how Good You Want to Be - Paul Arden
Lemon Poppy Seed - Robert Klanten
Logo - Michael Evamy
Patterns 2: Design, Art and Architecture - B. Glasner, P. Schmidt, U. Schondeling
Sorry Trees (Again) - Vince Frost
Tactile: High Touch Visuals - Robert Klanten
The A-Z of Modern Design - Bernd Polster, Claudia Neumann, and Markus Schuler
The Layout Book - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far - Stefan Sagmeister
Twenty Two Tips on Typography - Enric Jardi
Type Idea Index - Jim Krause
Type Selector Swatch - Michael Worgotter
Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite - Paul Arden

Everything seems to relate

No idea why but lately it seems like everything I see on TV or hear on the radio relates to my life. Songs I've played hundreds of times are hitting hard as if I was writing them myself. Maybe I'm in another transition period kinda like the rest of the world, or maybe I'm just being really perceptive. Or maybe, I'm so involved in myself that I'm altering everything to things that fit my life. Not really sure, but either way it's always good to know that others have been there and you're not crazy.

Just to name a few:

I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
Motion City Soundtrack - "Even if it Kills Me"

Cause I'm overcommiting myself.
I guess this is growing up
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growin up
Yeah I'm growing up.
Forever the Sickest Kids - "Coffee Break"

I’ve got plans mostly just to hang around, hoping for a hand me down.
Staring at my bright future.
I drive around waving like a sad parade, at the kids all out to play.
I’m good; go have fun on your own.

But thanks for your help, thanks for your help.
Pulling me from the flames, (and stop the fire)
I’ll just wait ‘til you leave, then run right back in.
Armor For Sleep - "Run Right Back In"

love me or leave me or rip me apart
this is the voice that i was given and
if you dont like it take a long walk
off of the shortest pier you can find
The Academy Is... - "Black Mamba"

These are the things I think about when I'm alone without you

I wonder of your whereabouts and hope like hell you're happy where you are.

What's up Halloween Costume

Came across this, this morning while working on a new media kit.

Oh shit Google is a g

No seriously, Google.com has a new favicon that is now a lowercase g. Read this for the details.