freak out

shaky hands, check.
shallow breathing, check.
heavy eyes, yup.
lost of motivation, mmhmm.
unclear thoughts, check.

Shit, it's not even August yet...

Priority Number 1

If every assignment is priority number one, what should get done first? Do you keep working on the project you've gotten halfway finished or do you toss that aside and grind on the newbie? Maybe when there's two priority number ones the oldest becomes priority number two and anything after gets pushed back in order as well. Maybe people should use better language like due dates...
Overworked.

Funniest thing I heard all day

So I was listening to death metal and I was cleaning, giving new music a chance. All I heard was "oh Lucifer," and I was like "ooooh hell no" and ran & turned that shit off.

Love my friends

Rollercoaster

Don't have much time to write, gotta get back to work. Just wanted to say, people annoy me. Facebook is taking away my little bit of joy I still have. I do far too much in a day. Top 2 bands released album info this week. I need motivation and sleep. When I sleep its restless and all I do is think so its not even sleep sleep. Oh and Ebony sent me the sweetest card ever, definitely helped my current state of mind.

Basically said you need a friend to say I understand, your crazy, or nothing at all; and I'm all three. She thanked me for being a good friend and hopes to be one in return. <3

A few words from William Beckett

So as some of you probably know, we've finished recording our third album. Since we got off of the Sleeping With Giants tour, right up until Day 1 of Warped, we've been writing, flying, singing, playing, laughing, crying, bleeding, and ultimately, celebrating what we feel is by far our best work yet. 6 years ago we started this whole journey, and from that moment on, it's been a fun, freaky, fast road, leading us to right here, right now. This is the album all of us have wanted to write since we fell in love with music. I don't want to spoil the suspense, so I won't say too much more than... (Fast Times At Barrington High) August 19th.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ahhhhhhhh

Beckett: We're finishing up the artwork now actually, but the recording process is completely finished. We couldn't be happier. It's the album I've been waiting to make. I'm so incredible excited that we made it. I can't wait for people to hear it. It's gonna be an infectious little number. Infectious and scintillating?

So maybe this will be the album I think is incredible and they don't break up and ends the viscous cycle. Wishful thinking...

The World really is shallow

William Beckett cut his hair and the scene freaked out. I know I'm late but it's funny that people still care 2 months later. We have more important things to worry about, like me liking their new CD...

March 28th
June 25th

Whatcha doing?

When people ask me what I've been up to, the answer "not too much" doesn't sit well. Guess no one can come to terms that living vicariously though me would eventually get dull. Sorry that everyday isn't some grand adventure, but I'm happy with my lifestyle. Typically I wake up, go to work, get things done at home while hours of my life fly by, then I watch TV and schedule the tasks for the next day. FUN!!!! Friends occasionally call or text and I listen to the drama of their day while adding in my two cents. They feel a bit better and we end communication. On the event that I leave my house I'm running errands. Every once in a while someone will accompany me, but typically solo.
I rarely go out and have fun these days, its just not in the agenda. Putting on a smile while everyone around you bitches or is phony gets tiring. So I figure why immerse yourself into situations like that. When I do go out, it's about 11pm and I get home at 3-7am. 9 times out of 10 I meet up with a friend or 2, go to a bar then end up at someone's house, then go out to eat. Those are the better nights. Unless of course the places I go, or people I see, are filled with negativity. All in all that pretty much sums up my day-to-day life. If you don't believe me, here's what I did last week:

Monday I came back from Virginia ridulously early or late depending on how you look at it. Couldn't get to sleep so I talked to Alexa for 3 hours til she passed out. Finally napped around 7am got up at 10. Went to Target, McDonald's and finally DC. Got cultured for hours and found some much needed inspiration. Although it wasn't as relaxing as intended due to the fact that I'm a psych on call to my friends. Ran into some sceneters at Hard Rock, danced to a FTSK song from across the street, walked around, got kidnapped and surprised, hung out with friends while they finish out their duties for the night, had a great conversation then a long drive home with minimal rest.
Tuesday was pissed most the day due to unneccasary rudeness. Decided not to quit my job. On the drive home tended to several friends as they vented. Continued as I worked on a few things. Gathered my thoughts, worked out showered and sat around in my pajamas. Sent a couple myspace messages I had no intention of hearing back from and watched TV.
Wednesday, was nothing special as well. Talked to some friends, gave some advice. Was very tired so opted not to run or do cardio. Also passed up a good opportunity to get some work done and cleaned for a bit as well.
Thursday I was exhausted, had a decent day at work. Had a scare from Rae. I was supposed to go to a happy hour or hang out with Devin or go to Dew Action tour or eat Sushi. Didn't do any. Did get to spend time with my cousin which is always fun, also fixed my tired and went to Blockbuster. Spend some time with my parents as well which is rare. Apologized to Devin for not doing anything, I never see that kid anymore, I'll work on it. Took a break from advice giving and overall listening to watch TV. I even went to the movies and Denny's. Talk about an eventful day!
Worked from home on Friday. My dad came home early so I actually got to talk to him. Went on errands with my mom, bought a wii. Ate food, cleaned and left for Dew Action. Hung out with Christine, another friend I haven't gotten to spend time with, watched BMX Dirt and then half of Good Charlotte's set. Left dropped off Christine, flew to McDonald's, changed clothes, ate at record speed, gave Rae directions while talking to another friend about her drama. Got to the bar later than expected, sorry Rae. Saw some more faces attempted to reschedule my sushi date with Sara, this has been in the making since November if that's any indication on how far behind I am on my frienships. Met some good people and hung out with them for a few hours before finally crawling into my basement.
Saturday morning, I practically kick Rae out after being 4 hours later than her expected departure. Run errands, got some things done for my mother, ate and watched Ocean's 13. Much needed nap but only for 20 minutes. Get a ride downtown, watch Skate park, meet up with Devin and Laurel spend the day with them ending with skate vert. What better way to celebrate Skateboarding day? Hike to my ride, eventually get home. Turned down dinner at Denny's due to time and my "about to vomit" feeling. Talk to Alexa while I drive dizzily to Burger King, needed someone to know where I was in case I crashed or passed out. Finally nourished my body while keeping Ebony company, via cellphone. Later realize I need to finish looking for something for my mom, Alexa needing to get out the house drives down and we go to Super WalMart. Randomly get interrograted about my whereabouts, still not sure what warranted that but it's always good to know when friends think you're hiding things from them. WalMart doesn't have it, after debate I eat again so I don't get a migraine, we watched a movie in the freezing cold and then she left so I could sleep.
Nothing to report on Sunday, other than my mom woke me up so I'd run errands with her. She told me about her night out, and got me lunch. Ate while watching 27 dresses, end up sleeping for hours. Not sure if it was the overexcurion, lack of a proper eating schedule or just my natural exhausted state of living. Get woken up, watch a little more of the movie and go back to sleep. Woke up again hours later and I eat while giving some advice and coming up with ideas. Finally touch a computer and answer my messages. Also changed my myspace around a tad. Non of which are from the people I contacted, as expected. Attempt to finish the movie and fell asleep again. Finally went to bed around 4am.

And that ladies and gentlemen is the fun and excitement all of you have been looking for. No syke, you've missed out on nothing aside from lots of advice giving, being the shoulder to cry on, errands and me getting things done. Of course I did have a little entertainment but for the bulk, lots of cancellations and not much more. So next time you say what have you been up to and I say nothing just refer back to this post and see that nothing is legit nothing.

four words

Denver the Last Dinosaur

Thanks Ebony, for reminding me about this cartoon and brightening my day. :)

New halloween costume

According to a friend, this should be my Halloween costume.

Sodahead

Did Miley Cyrus with her song "Rockstar" rip off Lustra's song "Scotty Doesn't Know"?

Listen to Lustra's "Scotty Doesn't Know" and then listen to Miley Cyrus' song "Rockstar." See if you notice any similarities between the two songs, keeping in mind that Lustra's version came first. Did Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana rip off Lustra's music? *The first answer choice is Lustra's "Scotty Doesn't Know," and the second is Miley Cyrus' "Rockstar.

Cash rules everything around me

I'm 90% sure that I have to buy a tire. This sucks. Everything happens for a reason, and I wish I knew why recently I've had to spend my money on unexpected things. Not only are they unexpected and necessary but they are things that I don't directly see in my possession. Although I'm complaining I am very thankful that somehow someway through it all I still have the money to be able to afford these expenses without going further in debt. Not too sure how long that will last but at the moment, I'm still hanging in there. Hopefully my friends that owe me will repay me sooner than later because the grand total is getting pretty ridiculous. In the meantime, I cannot afford to lend out anything else to anyone. No matter how small or the reasoning behind it.
On the bright side I don't have 3 flats like someone I know...

Hi I'm monique

There's a million thoughts running through my mind, but that's nothing new. I started to think about who I was as a person, not how others define me but how I define myself. It took me almost half of June to figure it all out, and I'm still not quite sure, but here's what I came up with, in no particular order.

I'm an individual, first and foremost. I do more for others than I do for myself and will bend over backwards to make someone's dream come true. Unfortunately that may mean putting my own on hold. Occasionally people mistake that for being unmotivated, not the case despite being defeated in practically every aspect of life, I wake up thankful for another day and attempt to live it to its fullest. I have unbelievably high goals, but all are within reach if I follow the simple steps of the plan. One day I'll learn how to say no and to be a little selfish.
I'm a giver; I give my opinions, time, money, belongings, and space. If you want something that I have and I care about you, it's yours. Even if it is hundreds of dollars, or a ticket to a concert I've been counting the days to see. And no I'm not the kind of girl that expects something in return; your gratitude is payment enough. Good things come to good people, so I try to surround myself with positive energy and fun times. I know that one day karma will work in my favor due to my kind heart. But I’m not doing the things I do, for a reward that may not ever come.
In the meantime, I tend to have the worst luck. I don't always get what I want, people normally don't come through for me and I've ended many days a little more than heartbroken. Don't consider me an underdog just someone who sets themselves up to be let down.
I'm a graphic designer but not artsy. I appreciate art and the beauty in the world around me, but you wouldn't look at me and think so. I don't draw or sketch or paint. I'm an idealist, I come up with sick ideas of how things should look and figure out a way to execute them, on my computer of course. I like unique color combinations and geometric shapes.
My love of design is mostly visible in my day-to-day attire. People compliment my ability to match the stripe in my shirt with the accent in my hoodie and trim of my shoes. Not a fan of matchy-matchy, but I do adore some coordination.
If I meet a boy that isn't one of my good friends or a friend of theirs that dresses nicely I usually fall in love. Some girls like charming good looks or a certain hair color. I like matching shoes and vests. I'm not materialistic by any means, I just find myself attracted to males with good fashion sense. I also like fucked up hair, light eyes and 6'0". Not 5'11" or 6'1", six feet even. It's not a height thing like a lot of my friends, it's a when we're standing my head comes perfectly to your shoulder thing.
Not like it matters too much, I never get the guy or any guy. I'm just their friend. It's how the cards play out, time and time again. Just when I think I've come to terms with it, I realize just how much it still bothers me. Maybe I'll find that one guy that never gets the girl and we can never get anyone else but each other. Yeah I'm a sap, but you'll never see it in person, just this space I call my blog.
I'm the tough dependable one. In crisis everyone turns to me, so I gotta be tough and solve the problems. Think of it this way, would you want to hysterically call the fire department and when they arrive they are running around flailing their arms more than you are. That's not comforting. So I man-up and be the bigger person so everyone else can crumble. I'm good at puzzles so I can usually put the pieces back together.
Puzzles, word games, anything that challenges my brain is fun to me. 8 years ago I had my heart set on being an engineer, I was going to Kettering, Emery Riddle or MIT and taking a shit ton of physics classes to eventually design and plan space ships. Talk about intense. Gets better, I’m not even really into space ships.
I love science: astronomy, meteorology, physics, biology… There’s something about learning how things work and the reliability that sciences provide that’s very comforting to me. Actually I’m all about learning no matter the subject matter. If there’s something that remotely interests you, I want to know the story.
Hmm what else is there, oh yes the things most of you know me for. I’m a big fan of music. I attend more shows than any one person should. I probably see a stage more times than your favorite touring band. A goal of mine is to go on tour with some friends as their merch girl. At the moment my life isn’t set up to embark on that journey but I’m steadily figuring out a way.
You can find me dancing on the sidewalks, sassing various band members, handing out stickers, or bffing it up with fans. I’m all over the place and tend to talk to anyone. That can be a blessing and a curse. There are 5 words that can make or break my night but always result in eye opening information.
When I’m not at shows, I go to the movies, museums, stores, restaurants and bars. My friends have this way of dragging me out and about all over the mid-atlantic. Usually I drive, so I’m truly the one at blame.
I recently bought a Honda Fit, it’s orange and I spoil it as much as I can. That car is a sign of where my life has been and where its going and each day I drive it, I appreciate things a little more. Rising gas prices are a drag with my travelling life style but I love being able to still afford going with little day-to-day interruptions due to my career job.
Like I said I’m a designer. Soon to quit and be 100% freelance. That scares the shit out of me. But when I pull it off, I’ll probably be the happiest I’ve ever been. People that are living their dreams are usually 90% happier than the masses. I want to be that.
Not really sure what else I can say about me. My favorite color is glitter, my bedroom is seafoam green. I’m not afraid to speak my opinion but I do know how to hold my tongue. I like all kinds of music, very eclectic. My favorite song on an album tends to be the most depressing even with the happy bands. Not because I’m emo but because they have the most real lyrics. I try to get along with everyone but if things are happening that I don’t support I will not stand around and watch them take place. I love modern clean lines and crazy furniture. My favorite designer is Karim Rashid. I love Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. My favorite singer is Mariah Carey where my favorite band is The Academy Is.... I have a degree but most people forget or don’t know altogether. If you need an ear I’ll listen, if you need reality I’ll smack. My favorite TV shows don’t have a script but most have grand prizes. The movies I adore are epically stupid or epic tales. I read books and magazines, and if you see me staring off into the distance it’s because I look at the world differently and everything is a picture.

So this me, good bad all of it, take it for what it’s worth.

Hey friends

I don't even know if my friends read this blog. Or anyone for that matter, actually no that's a lie the counter still goes up so someone is reading. Anyway, I've been pretty MIA as of late, mainly because I'm been extremely exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Some of you called it depression, which it could be but I just see it as I need a break. I need a break from being the things all of you count on me to be. Sorry but I'm really not wonder woman. As always I'm around to talk or hang but until I'm feeling like myself I don't intend to go out my way to do much of anything. So if I contact you before you contact me, consider yourself important to my life cause you're like one of 7.

Wish I could say or do more, but I know if I continue down the path I was a month ago, I'll hate everyone and everything.

<3

No idea

What do you say/do when someone tells you "I'm like super super single now." First of all, who says that? Secondly, what does that even mean? Thirdly, why would someone share that information?

So many questions. I'm utterly clueless... help please!

Bamboozle Sucked

I was looking back on all my blogs and realized there was a void between May 1st and 7th. That's cause I was living out that waste of a weekend called Bamboozle. If you haven't already heard, you probably won't. One day I'll explain to those of you that have no idea, but today isn't it.

still venting...

Venting

Myspace didn't send my message for the second time and there are ants crawling all over my desk. Not fun times.

Location or Situation?

It's been said that I have better luck with guys from other towns. The idea of me moving to the midwest or south or west has been thrown out. As time passes it seems as though they may all be right, maybe my personality doesn't fit in with my location.
Today however I decided that maybe it's not the location at all and its the circumstances. The fact that the guy is from another part of town isn't the issue, it's the point that he's not going to be in town for long. Maybe I'm just a rad girl to hang out with for a couple hours every couple of months. No more no less.
Think about that...

I laugh a little more each time I see it

Not you too Nicholas...

"The new TAI songs are pretty insane. Get stoked."

I'm starting to get scared now...

Fuck you

Because you don't deserve me. And now that I see your true colors, all loyalties felt are now lost at sea.

Just got the motivation I needed to get shit done, and fuck some people over. Thanks! :)

Waiting

I'm starting to sound like a broken record. Seems like no matter what, I can't get it through my head. One day I'll change and I hope it's way sooner than way later because I don't think the path I'm on will allow for later. I just need a smack to the face and a shout in my ear...

Dear Monique,
WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Love,
Yourself

You drive me crazy

Best part is you have no idea, nor is there anything that can be done. Go fig... Maybe one day things can change, not with you well maybe I just meant in general with my outlook on the current situation.

Virtual Shopping

this hat and reversible hoodie are available at loserkids.com

Peterpanda, stop fuckin with me

pps the new tai songs are mind blowing. miles away from where they were. i hope i can sneak a part of a demo and put it up or something.

Why can't we all be like the little boy in the commercial?

So I saw a PSA that was so inspiring and heartfelt. There was a boy at a baseball diamond throwing up the ball and swinging, each time he'd tell himself he was the best hitter in the world. After three strikes, he looks defeated for a moment then has a realization "Three strikes...I'M THE BEST PITCHER IN THE WORLD!!!"

I like books

I was feeling very much like a designer on my drive to work today. Not sure what it was but as Mariah sang and I took in the daily sights I found myself turning sideways and blinking. Next thing I know I've spent an hour looking up design books and have decided that I want/need these for my non-existent library.

1000 New Designs and Where to Find Them: A 21st-Century Sourcebook - Jennifer Hudson
50 Reading Lists - Spin Media
Action Time Vision - Spin
Art Of Looking Sideways - Alan Fletcher
Basics Design: Colour - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Basics Design: Layout - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Basics Design: Print + Finish - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Colour Index 2 - Jim Krause
Cover Art By: New Music Graphics -Adrian Shaughnessy
Creative Advertising: Ideas and techniques from the World's Best Campaigns - Mario Pricken
DIY: Design It Yourself - Ellen Lupton
Eco-Design Handbook: A Complete Sourcebook for the Home and Office - Alastair Fuad-Luke
Fully Booked: Cover Art and Design for Books - Robert Klanten, M. Hubner
Graphics Alive - Edited by Victionary
Guerrilla Advertising - Ty Montague, Gavin Lucas, and Mike Dorrian
Humble Masterpieces: 100 Everyday Marvels of Design - Paola Antonelli
Icons of Graphic Design - Steven Heller and Mirko llics
It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s how Good You Want to Be - Paul Arden
Lemon Poppy Seed - Robert Klanten
Logo - Michael Evamy
Patterns 2: Design, Art and Architecture - B. Glasner, P. Schmidt, U. Schondeling
Sorry Trees (Again) - Vince Frost
Tactile: High Touch Visuals - Robert Klanten
The A-Z of Modern Design - Bernd Polster, Claudia Neumann, and Markus Schuler
The Layout Book - Gavin Ambrose and Paul Harris
Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far - Stefan Sagmeister
Twenty Two Tips on Typography - Enric Jardi
Type Idea Index - Jim Krause
Type Selector Swatch - Michael Worgotter
Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite - Paul Arden

Everything seems to relate

No idea why but lately it seems like everything I see on TV or hear on the radio relates to my life. Songs I've played hundreds of times are hitting hard as if I was writing them myself. Maybe I'm in another transition period kinda like the rest of the world, or maybe I'm just being really perceptive. Or maybe, I'm so involved in myself that I'm altering everything to things that fit my life. Not really sure, but either way it's always good to know that others have been there and you're not crazy.

Just to name a few:

I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
Motion City Soundtrack - "Even if it Kills Me"

Cause I'm overcommiting myself.
I guess this is growing up
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growin up
Yeah I'm growing up.
Forever the Sickest Kids - "Coffee Break"

I’ve got plans mostly just to hang around, hoping for a hand me down.
Staring at my bright future.
I drive around waving like a sad parade, at the kids all out to play.
I’m good; go have fun on your own.

But thanks for your help, thanks for your help.
Pulling me from the flames, (and stop the fire)
I’ll just wait ‘til you leave, then run right back in.
Armor For Sleep - "Run Right Back In"

love me or leave me or rip me apart
this is the voice that i was given and
if you dont like it take a long walk
off of the shortest pier you can find
The Academy Is... - "Black Mamba"

These are the things I think about when I'm alone without you

I wonder of your whereabouts and hope like hell you're happy where you are.

What's up Halloween Costume

Came across this, this morning while working on a new media kit.

Oh shit Google is a g

No seriously, Google.com has a new favicon that is now a lowercase g. Read this for the details.