Not a good look

When your friend turns at you and looks with the deepest sincerity and says "fuck your life." Damn... It's all I know so it's what I live. Everything happens for a reason, yanno. Might not make sense or go as you'd wish but it happens and we gotta deal with it. I'm a pro at rolling with the punches. It also helps when good things occur, cause when its good it's usually super super good.

Monique take your own advice

When you say things like this and don't follow through, you then end up feeling like this.

Hi I'm Monique

Massively updated my myspace profile. I have this ridiculous need to update my life, not really sure why I just wish I could clean my room as easily.
One thing I'll never get is why people care so much about what other people are doing? Why does it matter where I am, who I'm with, or how I got there? Does my existence threaten you? I wish one of you would just explain it to me cause I'm all kinds of lost. If I'm hanging out somewhere I'm obviously doing me, you should do the same. I guess I should just be glad that I'm confident enough in my own train wreck of a life to not need to feed my ego off of someone else's misfortunes. I mean in all honesty half the time I don't even notice people. That's what we call being in your element.
One request I do have is, if you're going to talk shit about me, use the facts. There's so much accessible information that could probably damage my reputation (or lack there of) that no one needs to assume anything or try to draw conclusions.
I also don't get how someone can judge who deserves what. I personally say the more the merrier, legit. Also isn't it the band's call who they put on their guest list or who they bring inside? If you don't work for the band, management or their label you don't get a say. I mean feel free to tell anyone and everyone who will listen, not to associate with me. But when I've done nothing to prove your words true, I doubt they will be more than just useless banter. Give it up!

I miss Vegas, at least those kids had a legit reason to hate me.

The stars give really good advice sometimes

It can be challenging to manage your powerful emotions now that the Moon is back in your sign. Fortunately, you have the ability today to transform a difficult feeling into an inspirational thought. Sharing your hopes for the future can be motivating to others and can ultimately make you feel more positive about yourself.

I'm one of the most positive, genuine people I know so maybe I can motivate myself by motivating others. I mean things are already looking up this week, no impromptu car troubles and I'm off Thursday & Friday. Yay happiness!

I rarely ever do this

I've found myself wandering a lot, looking for answers to unasked questions. Not the most useful thing in the world. This past week has been straight up ridiculous, so I decided I'm actually going to recap it instead of my usual cryptic banter. Banter, I've been saying that word a lot.

I saw my favorite band twice and I couldn't be happier. There's something about The Academy Is... that makes everything right. I guess that's what happens when you're a megafan. Every time I looked up at that stage my smile would be bigger and what's better than sharing such an experience with some of your closest friends. Philadelphia was so freakin empty it was a little disheartening because I think TAI has paid enough dues that they shouldn't still be the band in my pocket.
Entered Electric Factory way later than I intended but I think that happens everytime I frequent that venue, did get free parking which is always a win. First person I see when entering the door is Andrew. Haven't seen him since August which is hella long when I would see him multiple times a month. Was not expecting him to leap over the merch table, haha. Love that kid. Got to chat it up for a bit, visited Erica & Fiona upstairs. Talked about Hey Monday since I missed them, one day I'll check em out live. Danced around and got stares because obviously people don't dance to music in 2008. Christine and I just never got the message. The rest of that night is a blur, sick ass light show and breath taking preformance. After the show hung out in the rain talked about the dying population of red heads then watched some people til they creeped me out too much. Massive wave of sleepiness hit me and I sped my orange baby back south.
Friday was rediculous after much waiting, a little nap I finally made it to Fells Point to celebrate Sara being legal. Lots of free shots and drinks, good times all around. Met some fun people and decided we need to explore Baltimore more and find other fun bars to spend our weekends in. Still can't believe she's legit now. Come on Christine!!
Saturday I went shopping, fell in love with these jeans and even more so because I needed a smaller size. Yay starvation! I need to get back in the flow of working out, my brain needs the clarity. Sunday went to see my babies play acoustic and it reminded me of 05. They looked so happy and I was glad that fans came and new faces stayed around. I have a feeling 09 will be a good year for them. Fingers crossed.
Monday!!! AKA Day two of the bogus journey. Didn't see My Favorite Highway but enjoyed the longer than ever drive to DC. According to William, they were really good and look at that they are now signed to a major label. Well shit! Anywho finally get there head over to Will Call so I can get my tickets. As I'm about to go inside I hear "MONIQUE!!!!!!" not really sure where it comes from I see sketch ass bro all kinds of bundled up, squint and realize it's Andrew. Big hugs and then I get stoked cause I remember 930 does all the merch which means major hangs. Good times dancing around. There was some sketchy stalker-like activity going on. I wish I could go places and enjoy a show without being lurked out in the corners, seriously? My life not that glorious trust me, neither is my friends. Alexa and Christine were somewhere, I watched TAI's set. Almost melted when William pulled out the acoustic and played A NEW SONG!!! egads. Show ended talked to some kids, one girl was a bit too sassy with me. Waiting for D to count and hung with Dyana for a bit. Chilled downstairs to get warmed, missed William by 2 secs then went outside to join my froze friends. So glad I didn't work that show. Fun times after the show, glad that Michelle got her car back. Didn't get to see one of my favorite people to see on tour but did get some awesome looks. Thank you fans for the amazing cupcakes, didn't mean to get a chocolate one but it was still delicious. Lots of stories being told as we caught up on the last 3 months of our lives. Finally said goodbye, eventually got home then had to deal with car issues. Not fun, especially when people aren't cooperating. Glad that nothing was wrong and everything got taken care of, not glad for literally getting minutes of sleep.
Tuesday I was absolutely miserable at work, could barely stay awake and as soon as I got home I passed out for a little more than 12 hours. Much needed rest.
Woke up dumb early on Wednesday due to sleeping the previous day away, Alexa was also awake since she slept almost as much as I did Tuesday night. She kept me company most of the morning. Hilarious twitter conversations once Christine & Zack woke up. Then wham! I realized it was the 19th. November 19th. Wednesday November 19 2008. Well shit, never thought it would exist in the flesh. Put my game face on, prepared myself for a loooong day and headed to work. Work flew by, hopped in my car slid over to Sonar. Saw a couple familar faces but had business to take care of so didn't leave the car. Did however donate my badass parking spot to Frenchy French then headed up 83. Phone finally started working again, apparently towers were down all over Baltimore so I just needed to get out of that area.
I got to Chameleon Club so freaking late, sorry again Alexa. I did however finally get to see DGD and they were nuts. Next time they come to Baltimore, I'll def be there. Next up was Senses Fail so I was in heaven. 2nd favorite band, uh yes please! Played a good variety of songs and I heard basically everything I wanted to hear. Headed out to the car to get dan's gift, waited around for what seemed like forever. Chatted to the three I wanted to see before I left. Haha even got a request that I didn't get a chance to fulfill, sorry bro. Might've been for the better since we're not 100% sure if I'd get slapped in the face or not. Wanted to stay and catch up at the bar but decided to go back to my own city.
Fastest trip home ever. Left at 10:40 arrived at 11:45. For the record, Lancaster to Baltimore should take an hour 40. Haha reminded me of driving to Pittsburgh, oh man Pittsburgh... Anywho get there and there's still a good amount of kids around. See some familar faces who are surprised to see me, I explained I stopped by to say hey to everyone on my way home. They asked if I saw a friend I didn't even think they knew I knew then remembered DC did happen. The more people I ran into the more I wish I went to the show. It's not often these kids are legit in my city. Maybe it'll become a regular stop on future tours. HTL filled me in on all kinds of things that I had no recollection on. Note to self, what happens in Vegas is better when you can remember. Haha Kyle also filled me in on a few other things. That was a good night afterall. Ran into Christine and Zack as I traveled around Saratoga street. Ended up inside Sonar where I saw even more people. Definitely my favorite kids to hang out with, hands down. Many many many shots were taken. I think we stopped making toasts and just kinda looked all around raised glasses and drank. Throughout the night more people ended up showing up and more shots were taken. I would've been better off with a glass of vodka at one point.
"It's funny cause it's true" I just kept thinking that, watching the nonsense take place. I really wish more people were that honest in my life. Reason number a million why I love that kid. Just when I thought I had everything figured out another turn of events would come about. I legitamently felt bad for not going to the show, apparently no one else cared cause I showed up eventually. Guess that's friendship. I mean it's not like I deserved to be at that show anyway... 4am bus calls mean very little sleep for Monique, but I wouldn't trade that night in for the world. Spring needs to get here ASAP, starting to miss them already. Maybe I'll plop in for one more Sassynight before it ends.
Heavily considered going to NJ on Thursday but instead found myself at Recher. ETID are so freaking good, better than what I was expecting and The Bronx are always a treat. The weekend was full of hang outs with friends and intimate parties. Wasn't feeling quite like myself so didn't want to be out and about full party mode. It was quite uplifting to see my friend and his new room. It's like we're grown ups or something. Haha. Miss that kid more and more each tour. Ended the weekend with a bra fitting, Tim Gunn would be proud. Not stoked to buy all new bras, but I'm sure the fellas will be more than thrilled to know the size, me not so much.
All in all it's been a silly month full of surprises and smiles. A little heartache and a lot of eye-opening. Wonder what else is left in these cards. I do know that I need to get on the ball cause if what I was told Wednesday is true, I don't have much time left!

Yay Winter!

You're an idiot

I just legit read my blog for the first time ever. What kind of people are you? Haha I could barely read it and it's about my life. Sorry I'm kinda out there sometimes and a little more than emo when I actually sit down and think. Sorry for even providing such content. But thanks for reading commenting and sharing with friends.

With that being said, continue lurking...

Overrated boys and attention starved girls

Remember that one time when everything was going right, but somehow someway at the very last turn of events things went so wrong? Yeah that's a bummer but I have to keep believing that everything happens for a reason. And that what will be will be. It is good to know that I'm not crazy and imagining things. Also equally good to know that despite the environment and circumstances I can still hold my own. A lot of truth was spoken but so much still left to be said. In retrospect more should have been put out on the table but maybe that just means this journey is yet to be finished.

To feel used, to feel lust, to feel wanted for once
To know there's somebody else who's dying to feel anything

Am I the only one that remembers

So in May the very stylish Rachel Ray was accused for being a terrorist. True Story... Now everybody and their momma are rockin Keffiyeh scarves. I think someone owes Rachel an apology... I think it was a good look in the Spring, now it's become this staple of "if I wear this I must be posh" No. No wearing a damn scarf doesn't make people say wow look at you. There is more to fashion and style then to follow a trend. Reminds me of an episode of Doug... For the record, same goes for vests. I should become a stylist or a buyer.


PS: I'm a fan of the direction my blog is taking as of late. Oh the media!

50's + Best Buy = <3

100% Approval Rating

100 People Prefer - Gin No Sara Commercial

I can't even watch the whole thing

Got money and you know it

December 30th, 2008
Verizon Center

I have to have this!!

I don't even know why, but when I was in Best Buy last night with Rae I saw this amazing product and since then I have been craving it. I don't need a photo printer for my phone, I never print pictures nor do I take many with my phone. But I'm thinking how fun would it be to run around the city snapping pictures and print them right then and there. I've always had a thing for Polaroid cameras and was super sad when they decided to stop making the film. You may not know this but my father has collected cameras throughout the years.
Man I could go to a show and take dumb candid shots and then just hand them out. That's better than waiting til you get home to post it on the myspace. Ahhhhh decided, I must own this printer. I wish I wasn't such an electronics addict.
Sidenote I bought The Price is Right for Wii last night, can't wait to "Come on down!" after work. =) One more reason to have a Wii Party!

But Veteran's Day was yesterday...

Sorry Google but you are definitely a day late on this one!

Definitely not off on Veteran's Day

So tired, so so so tired. I don't know if this is correct but I'm quite sure that after sleeping you shouldn't wake up and wish to sleep more. I can't remember the last time I felt well rested. Even when I try to get more rest, and plan things out. Other shit pops up. I'm losing track of my days and even weeks. Just a mindless empty shell going from one place to another.
Saturday I didn't leave my house and it was such a great day, I need more of those. It would've been even better if I replaced the cleaning and laundry with reading and movies, but it was good nonetheless. Ideally I want a day where everything I do is for my mental wellness. granted cleaning clears my head but I don't want any physical labor or stresses. Just chill, calm, relaxation.
Just thinking about it makes me smile.
I'm excited for Wednesday, it's the first day on my calendar in a while that I plan to do nothing aside from going to work. The more I think about it the more I may cancel plans on Saturday & Sunday to get more cleaning done. Maybe even play a video game or sleep. It's a bummer cause those were two days I actually wanted to do what I planned, but c'est la vie! I will always cut from myself before others. One day...

I wish people weren't so selfish sometimes, if you say you're a friend then why can't people depend on you? Dumb dumb dumb. I hope to never treat my friends the way I've seen them treated. Even if it kills me!

Some say I'm a super b*tch

Love this ad!

Not a second to waste

If I am a clock
Then your are the time
I'm patiently waiting
When you're out of line
And I'll be the question
If you'll be the answer
...
I'd sing you a song
But I'm feeling quite off
In my heart
It's occupied
And now's not the time
The time

I think we have an emergency

Just because the store puts it together, doesn't mean its a good look. these all work as separates, together you're a twister board. And if you're clan of friends all march down the street looking like Hot Topic threw up some paint slatters on you, get your money back.

yup, still holds true

Realizations are a bitch. I always say it but it never gets easier to deal with. I don't know what sucks more, knowing that you associate with shitty people or knowing that in a blink of an eye you'd still bend over backwards to help them in a bind? Sometimes I wish I was a bitch or at least heartless. It'd be so much easier to cut my losses and move on if I didn't care. Why am I the one to always get burned? The nice one, the good one, the one person you should treat better than others for the simple fact I'm one of the few that would wire you money to make sure you made it home safely. Not only that I'd give up sleep and fun to be there in your time of need. I keep asking myself why and the answer is simply, I do these things cause I'd want someone to return the favor. I guess somewhere in my brain the synapses aren't lining up and I can't register that shit isn't happening. What I'm really to do for others, won't be reciprocated. I'm giving 100% and only getting 35. Don't get my wrong, I have a few gems in my life that in all honesty give me the hope that the world can be better but even then sometimes they burn me just as so. The closer they are the worst it hurts, why do I live with such pain? Why can't people see what they are doing to me? Why am I asking questions that have no answers? Why do I care so fucking much?

bleh

So much built up passion and anger, not good for the heart. I already don't sleep I don't need to harbor any resentment, I'd cut you if I could. I am however very thankful for everyone that gave up their time/money/sleep/ect ect to insure that I enjoyed my birthday. It brings me to tears just thinking of your generosity. Love, love love. I feel it.

With that being said, dear assholes that I call some of my best friends. I had a birthday a week ago, thanks for not calling/texting or sending me the message just to say happy birthday. With that being said I also made it to Vegas and made it back safely. I know you were so concerned... It think it's really awesome how you couldn't drive an extra 10 minutes just to grace me with your presence. No worries, just give me some bullshit excuse; I'll smile and say "its whatever" and we'll go back to being the best of bests. Cause its what I do...


THANKS!

You're killing me, I'm killing myself

Realized I was passing through
From the moment I saw you
I was hypnotized
Couldn't wait to get you alone
So I could walk with you
So I could talk with you, oh

You can vote however you like

Obama on the left, McCain on the right; We can talk politics all night and you can vote however you like