Thursday, May 29
Someone buy me Nathan Sawaya for the day
Please!!!
In case you don't know who he is, prepare to be amazed. Maybe I can get him to come to my birthday.
In case you don't know who he is, prepare to be amazed. Maybe I can get him to come to my birthday.
Rachael Ray drama
I don't know if you heard or not but Miss Rachael Ray had her Dunkin Donuts commercial pulled because of the scarf she was wearing. No seriously. Apparently, that scarf was far too similar to a kiffiyeh. As Michelle Malkin (michellemalkin.com) put it "The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant (and not so ignorant) fashion designers, celebrities and left-wing icons." If you read the linked article she goes on to say: "Anti-American fashion designers abroad and at home have mainstreamed and adapted the scarves as generic pro-Palestinian jihad or anti-war statements. Yet many folks out there remain completely oblivious to the apparels violent symbolism and anti-Israel overtones." Basically we're all idiots if we go out and buy a seemingly harmless black and white scarf...
I agree with Gaysocialites.com in saying that this is racial profiling. I also agree with Dunkin Donuts for pulling the ad. Although it's a stupid controversy, it exists and them keeping it up is only feeding into the mayhem.
Take a look for yourself and see what the big deal is...
I agree with Gaysocialites.com in saying that this is racial profiling. I also agree with Dunkin Donuts for pulling the ad. Although it's a stupid controversy, it exists and them keeping it up is only feeding into the mayhem.
Take a look for yourself and see what the big deal is...
Wednesday, May 28
Been there done that
Your imagination can take you on a beautiful journey today, but you might not have much to show upon your return. Nevertheless, the pleasures you desire are within reach as long as you don't try to make them last. Dancing with joy in your heart is reward enough, even if it is as fleeting as the present moment itself.
Basically the stars have set me up to think about a boy, want him, but not to make anything stick because my heart fleets...
Basically the stars have set me up to think about a boy, want him, but not to make anything stick because my heart fleets...
Morning
Lots of trouble waking up but that was to be expected. My mom called me on my drive down to say hi and she loves me and "Everything is Everything". I love my momma! Stopped at McDonald's cause of an impromptu craving for cinnamon melts. Get to YNot and Jason opens the door, he's been here all night and going crazy. Apparently this place at 4am is freaky.
I also love my BFFE because she gets me. After 2 minutes of conversation she realizes she hasn't seen me since the night she dropped me off at the bar with no wallet or phone. No worries her breathing is still fine eventhough now she's not too sure cause she should be suffering from massive withdrawl or something. I'll see her before June ends, I'm sure. She has a wii so as soon as that's up and ready I'll put it in my schedule to come over and play. Cause I'm using her til I get my own, duh. Anywho, we chat it up about Jeffree Star and Chris Crocker but not the two of them together, then Pete Wentz and blogs.
It's going to be a good day cause I deemed it so, and as long as I stay positive and light nothing can get me down. Not the bitterness, stress, idiocy, anger, or anything else negative/unnecessary. There's enough bad things in this world without the additives.
I also love my BFFE because she gets me. After 2 minutes of conversation she realizes she hasn't seen me since the night she dropped me off at the bar with no wallet or phone. No worries her breathing is still fine eventhough now she's not too sure cause she should be suffering from massive withdrawl or something. I'll see her before June ends, I'm sure. She has a wii so as soon as that's up and ready I'll put it in my schedule to come over and play. Cause I'm using her til I get my own, duh. Anywho, we chat it up about Jeffree Star and Chris Crocker but not the two of them together, then Pete Wentz and blogs.
It's going to be a good day cause I deemed it so, and as long as I stay positive and light nothing can get me down. Not the bitterness, stress, idiocy, anger, or anything else negative/unnecessary. There's enough bad things in this world without the additives.
Tuesday, May 27
Friday, May 23
Thursday, May 22
Wednesday, May 21
Monday, May 19
I guess advertising actually does work
Logging into myspace and the latest myspace.com takeover is Taco Bell. Oh for those of you who don't know a site takeover is when a website sells their background space to an advertiser, creating like a skin/theme on their page. Anywho, usually I look at something and view it for what it is and move on. Today I actually thought "mmm Taco Bell" I stopped eating Taco Bell like 2 years ago so that's saying something. Maybe I'll go to Arby's on my way home...
Solo
I don't think many people are capable of being alone, it's the mammal in us all that long for those special bonds and connections. Don't get me wrong, I love people, I love love, I'm a fan of relationships with others; however, I equally if not more can appreciate the time I spend alone. Alone with my thoughts, passions and ideas. No one to hold me back, influence my brainwaves just my own crazy self. To me that's a good time.
It's the nights I spend alone that make me realize why everyone else enjoys my company. Hahaha just kidding, I'm not that vain.
It's the nights I spend alone that make me realize why everyone else enjoys my company. Hahaha just kidding, I'm not that vain.
Sunday, May 18
Advice
I don't know who people expect me to be, but I do know who I am. I don't really know why a friend would lie, especially about something so trivial. Don't people know life is cyclical, things constantly come back around. Eventually the truth will shine and then where will you be? Wouldn't you rather have the image of being upfront and open about who you are and what you've done to those who are supposed to be your support system your extended family? I know I would. I don't think it's wise to lie to the ones you expect to stand by you. Be honest and ask for forgiveness. Although they shouldn't judge you anyway.
Why be desperate? Why would anyone want that? Why even collect all these points and stories, what good will it bring you years down the line? So what.
Calm down and live your life. Everything is everything and you can't spend the hours protecting yourself from what will be, cause in that time new harms are being created, and no one can be 100% safe.
Get over yourself, nothing is that great.
I don't even feel like going on cause people are going to be people. You are going to do what you've always done, and I've come to terms with that.
Why be desperate? Why would anyone want that? Why even collect all these points and stories, what good will it bring you years down the line? So what.
Calm down and live your life. Everything is everything and you can't spend the hours protecting yourself from what will be, cause in that time new harms are being created, and no one can be 100% safe.
Get over yourself, nothing is that great.
I don't even feel like going on cause people are going to be people. You are going to do what you've always done, and I've come to terms with that.
Saturday, May 17
Just once
Just once I'd like to meet a guy that digs me and I dig him and we aren't strictly friends. Don't get me wrong I love the dudes in my life, all amazing friendships but I could go for love every once in a while. Maybe when I move things will be better, I tend to make those connections with those I meet in my travels. Non local boys seem to love me, go figure...
Friday, May 16
Dani California
I don't care that practically every RHCP song sounds the same and that Dani California is now old. I love that song and still rock it like its brand fuckin new every time to comes on the radio, or whatever. It's good times, more songs should be as good!
Thursday, May 15
My car has a scratch
AH!!!!! I noticed it this morning before I got in to go to work. Granted its very small and at the bottom in the front of the car but its still there and I saw it. A scratch, a fuckin paint chipping scratch. Not happy! So now I gotta pull the spoiled card and complain to my dad so he can find someone to restore the orange glow. I don't care how much it costs for this teeny issue to be fixed cause I'll pay it.
Reason number who knows, why I shouldn't have children.
Reason number who knows, why I shouldn't have children.
Tuesday, May 13
Only at Sound Garden...
* A Raisin in the Sun [Puffy, Mrs. Huxtable; 2008]
Real talk will get you everywhere
Real talk will get you everywhere
Monday, May 12
remind me to read my horoscope
Seems like the stars are always aligned in a way to ease the worries of my life. Today is no different. Posted that blog this morning, still have a million other things on my mind and then I just got to reading the horoscope of the day. Definitely eased my mind.
If you are tired of feeling stuck, relief is on the way as you begin to see solutions to your dilemma. Someone may enter your life now to present you with a fresh perspective that guides you into new realms of thinking. Don't waste any energy resisting the upcoming changes. The truths you discover can propel you out of an uncomfortable situation. The prevailing currents are heading your way, so don't be afraid to let go and flow with them.
If you are tired of feeling stuck, relief is on the way as you begin to see solutions to your dilemma. Someone may enter your life now to present you with a fresh perspective that guides you into new realms of thinking. Don't waste any energy resisting the upcoming changes. The truths you discover can propel you out of an uncomfortable situation. The prevailing currents are heading your way, so don't be afraid to let go and flow with them.
Mile a minute
My brain cannot turn off as of late. There's always at least 3 things I'm thinking about, and I'm not really sure if writing it all out will make it go away or just bring more to light. Can't hurt either way I guess, cause as long as I'm thinking I'm improving.
Today's How to of the day made me think even more. Before I continue let me apologize for this posting. It probably will not make sense, nor will it be in order. This is how my brain functions and I don't want to stop things from coming because I could be stifling a realization of how things are. Back to wikihow. So today was all about how to enjoy your job and I started to think, wow that's what I want in life. There are days when I'm so stoked to go to work, then there's the days when I know it's going to suck. Is the day worst because I planned for it to be? Probably. Am I just observant and know the cycle inside and out? Maybe. Whatever the case may be, I don't want to have bad days, work days, ok days and then that one good day. I want to enjoy the days that could make anyone else cry just as much as I enjoy that golden fun day in the office. I'm far too young and have way too many work days ahead of me, to be dreading these. The idea of feeling trapped isn't helping. Usually people my age, don't have much to worry about and this is the time in life when they are establishing things to get them on their own feet. I on the other hand, am trying to keep my head above water with a worry-free smile. Bills aren't fun, nor are expenses. I wish I had a rent or mortgage payment instead of a student loan or credit card bill. Then things would seem far more worthwhile. At the moment I'm working to keep the things I already have and to eventually get in a place to make plans for the future. My life is pretty much on hold for the next 4 years and that's depressing. It's not in any way shape or form how I'd like to have things, but that's the way I played the cards. It's kinda like when you're playing Lights Out and you fuck up in the beginning so you can either backtrack or just keep going and it takes more moves but eventually you'll finish the round. The methods I chose to get to where I am weren't the wisest or brightest choices but I'm here and I'm not giving up.
Not trying to brag or anything of that nature, but I make too much money to not have the things that others have. The state of living in Maryland isn't so substantial that 35k gets you nowhere. I need to sit down and think and figure out a new plan because being debt-free, except loans, in 4 years is great but it's still 4 years. At 27 I shouldn't be living the same as 23. I should write Suze Orman or Oprah a letter.
Dear Oprah,
I'm doing everything I can to the best of my ability and I know that one day in the future I'll be straight but I may lose my mind by them. I don't want you to pay for my mistakes because that isn't quite teaching a lesson but maybe you can show me the alternatives and provide me with even more choices than I currently see.
Thank you,
Monique
Maybe I'll just do that...
I'm freakin exhausted. For weeks now, maybe even months I've been wearing myself thin and things have started to slow so my body is trying to take advantage of my relaxed nature and catch up on rest. The only problem is that things aren't completely finished yet. My unmotivated self is forcing everything to take much longer and in the meanwhile I'm getting approached from all directions asking for things to get done. I need a vacation from everything and everyone and just be with myself. One day soon I'm not going to have anything left to do but be Monique and when that day comes, I hope everyone understands and leaves me alone. If not I'll have no choice but to disappear. It's what I do to keep my sanity, the people who know me have accepted this without question. Those who don't are now learning.
There's a couple things coming up that I'm very excited for. So each day isn't one in the same. Memorial Day is finally near, aka I have a day off of work that isn't vacation time. Haven't had one of those since New Years. That's ridiculous. That day is going to be 100% work free, except maybe some cooking/casual cleaning.
I love my friends, even though they do dumb things that I normally have to fix. They make me, me. And I'm a fan of that. If it wasn't for them, I don't know what I'd do with myself. Probably watch a lot more movies, and play video games. Speaking of movies, I just got Bebe's Kids and I'm amped to watch. Def one of my favorite movies back in the nineties.
I really want to find a boy. I have a lot of love to give and no one to quite share it with. Still not sure if I'm ready for a relationship but I'd love to find someone I can be all cutesy with for like 2 weeks. Maybe I should find a band that's in Baltimore for a short period of time... jk. I could go on more about the whole need to love aspect of my life, but it's been 3 hours and I'm tired of thinking...
Sidenote I came across another quote today and it made me think that I'm on the right path in life.
Today's How to of the day made me think even more. Before I continue let me apologize for this posting. It probably will not make sense, nor will it be in order. This is how my brain functions and I don't want to stop things from coming because I could be stifling a realization of how things are. Back to wikihow. So today was all about how to enjoy your job and I started to think, wow that's what I want in life. There are days when I'm so stoked to go to work, then there's the days when I know it's going to suck. Is the day worst because I planned for it to be? Probably. Am I just observant and know the cycle inside and out? Maybe. Whatever the case may be, I don't want to have bad days, work days, ok days and then that one good day. I want to enjoy the days that could make anyone else cry just as much as I enjoy that golden fun day in the office. I'm far too young and have way too many work days ahead of me, to be dreading these. The idea of feeling trapped isn't helping. Usually people my age, don't have much to worry about and this is the time in life when they are establishing things to get them on their own feet. I on the other hand, am trying to keep my head above water with a worry-free smile. Bills aren't fun, nor are expenses. I wish I had a rent or mortgage payment instead of a student loan or credit card bill. Then things would seem far more worthwhile. At the moment I'm working to keep the things I already have and to eventually get in a place to make plans for the future. My life is pretty much on hold for the next 4 years and that's depressing. It's not in any way shape or form how I'd like to have things, but that's the way I played the cards. It's kinda like when you're playing Lights Out and you fuck up in the beginning so you can either backtrack or just keep going and it takes more moves but eventually you'll finish the round. The methods I chose to get to where I am weren't the wisest or brightest choices but I'm here and I'm not giving up.
Not trying to brag or anything of that nature, but I make too much money to not have the things that others have. The state of living in Maryland isn't so substantial that 35k gets you nowhere. I need to sit down and think and figure out a new plan because being debt-free, except loans, in 4 years is great but it's still 4 years. At 27 I shouldn't be living the same as 23. I should write Suze Orman or Oprah a letter.
Dear Oprah,
I'm doing everything I can to the best of my ability and I know that one day in the future I'll be straight but I may lose my mind by them. I don't want you to pay for my mistakes because that isn't quite teaching a lesson but maybe you can show me the alternatives and provide me with even more choices than I currently see.
Thank you,
Monique
Maybe I'll just do that...
I'm freakin exhausted. For weeks now, maybe even months I've been wearing myself thin and things have started to slow so my body is trying to take advantage of my relaxed nature and catch up on rest. The only problem is that things aren't completely finished yet. My unmotivated self is forcing everything to take much longer and in the meanwhile I'm getting approached from all directions asking for things to get done. I need a vacation from everything and everyone and just be with myself. One day soon I'm not going to have anything left to do but be Monique and when that day comes, I hope everyone understands and leaves me alone. If not I'll have no choice but to disappear. It's what I do to keep my sanity, the people who know me have accepted this without question. Those who don't are now learning.
There's a couple things coming up that I'm very excited for. So each day isn't one in the same. Memorial Day is finally near, aka I have a day off of work that isn't vacation time. Haven't had one of those since New Years. That's ridiculous. That day is going to be 100% work free, except maybe some cooking/casual cleaning.
I love my friends, even though they do dumb things that I normally have to fix. They make me, me. And I'm a fan of that. If it wasn't for them, I don't know what I'd do with myself. Probably watch a lot more movies, and play video games. Speaking of movies, I just got Bebe's Kids and I'm amped to watch. Def one of my favorite movies back in the nineties.
I really want to find a boy. I have a lot of love to give and no one to quite share it with. Still not sure if I'm ready for a relationship but I'd love to find someone I can be all cutesy with for like 2 weeks. Maybe I should find a band that's in Baltimore for a short period of time... jk. I could go on more about the whole need to love aspect of my life, but it's been 3 hours and I'm tired of thinking...
Sidenote I came across another quote today and it made me think that I'm on the right path in life.
"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Thursday, May 8
Is it vain when a song makes you think of yourself?
FTSK debut full length is finally out and I find myself relating to these songs all too well. It's been a while since I've put on a CD and said, "wait is this my life?" No worries, I don't think the Underdog Alma Mater is epically good, so they shouldn't be breaking up anytime soon. Below are the lyrics to "That For Me". This song hit the hardest, if it was the single it'd be my profile song.
We used to drive all night and listen to the radio
We'd push the front seats up and make the back our bedroom
Stay here all night long, be strong, forget the world were living in
Mother I know you know I'm having a good time
I'm sleeping so little but I'm living a good life
No need to worry I got a place to lay my head down
No need to worry I got a place to sleep
I need somebody to rely on
and you weren't that for me
and you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be
I count down the steps to your apartment
Cause I'm eager to know if your even at home
and I called you on the drive home
But you were alone
Mother I know you know I'm having a good time
I'm sleeping so little but I'm living a good life
No need to worry I got a place to lay my head down
No need to worry I got a place to sleep
I need somebody to rely on
and you weren't that for me
and you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be
I love you but I'm not sure that I really want to
touch you but I will only if you ask me too
We'd push the front seats up and make the back our bedroom
Stay here all night long, be strong, forget the world were living in
Mother I know you know I'm having a good time
I'm sleeping so little but I'm living a good life
No need to worry I got a place to lay my head down
No need to worry I got a place to sleep
I need somebody to rely on
and you weren't that for me
and you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be
I count down the steps to your apartment
Cause I'm eager to know if your even at home
and I called you on the drive home
But you were alone
Mother I know you know I'm having a good time
I'm sleeping so little but I'm living a good life
No need to worry I got a place to lay my head down
No need to worry I got a place to sleep
I need somebody to rely on
and you weren't that for me
and you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be
I love you but I'm not sure that I really want to
touch you but I will only if you ask me too
Wednesday, May 7
Sometimes I'm a girl
I don't mean to act like a dumb girl but its in my DNA. Can't suppress it all the time, every once in a while I start to think "maybe I did something wrong", "maybe he's not into me", "maybe I'm not supposed to be loved." I know it's dumb and untrue but I can't help but think it occasionally. I just hope that this lack of confidence isn't permanent and one day I know in my heart of hearts that all is good and well.
It doesn't help that most guys I meet don't even consider me a girl. Silly boys!
It doesn't help that most guys I meet don't even consider me a girl. Silly boys!
Sleep
I've been attempting to catch up on sleep all week, harder feat than expected. It's not that I've been unable to rest, just that those hours on hours are simply not enough. My body honestly doesn't know what to do with itself, if i didn't have these things called a job and social life, I'd sleep for 20 hours straight. At least I've been sleeping, tonight I'll nap from 5-630 and hopefully go to bed by 1230. Tomorrow I'm making no guarantees but Saturday is coming soon enough and I don't have to leave for that til 445 aka sleeping in til at least noon :)
Hopefully everyone will stop worrying about me as they see that I am legitimately taking care of myself and my health just as I said I would be, once time allotted.
Hopefully everyone will stop worrying about me as they see that I am legitimately taking care of myself and my health just as I said I would be, once time allotted.
Tuesday, May 6
Where do I begin?
They always say it's nice to feel wanted but I think even that has a limit. There's a line that once crossed you no longer feel the joy of others wanting your company or needing you. All you feel is the pressure of being the shoulder to try on, voice of reason, catalyst of things to come. I'm a miracle worker, I fix problems and attempt to please everyone in the process. Sometimes it's more effort than what it's worth. Sometimes it's more than one person to handle. Sometimes it's far more intense than anyone can imagine.
It's hard to keep secrets with the weight of the world on your shoulders. It's even harder to smile like everything is ok. Where do you go when everyone comes to you? Haven't quite figured that one out.
This isn't a complaint or a plea, just needed to sort things out in my head and this post was the only means I had. I'm not saying in any way that I want those that depend on me so much to stop. I'm just realizing exactly how tough it is. What happens when I'm not there? Where will they go...?
It's hard to keep secrets with the weight of the world on your shoulders. It's even harder to smile like everything is ok. Where do you go when everyone comes to you? Haven't quite figured that one out.
This isn't a complaint or a plea, just needed to sort things out in my head and this post was the only means I had. I'm not saying in any way that I want those that depend on me so much to stop. I'm just realizing exactly how tough it is. What happens when I'm not there? Where will they go...?
Thursday, May 1
April 30th... part 2
On April 23rd I made a comment saying there was 5 places I wanted to be on April 30th but I chose to see my 3rd favorite band play the biggest tour of their careers. I commented that they better play the best set I've ever seen. Long story short I only saw the bridge into the final chorus of "The Future Freaks Me Out" but that was one of the most energetic crowds singing back I've seen. Wish I could've experienced the set but guess it wasn't supposed to play out like that. It happens, and the salt is slowly being washed away.
Next time there is an epic show day in Baltimore in which I have 5 or more to choose from, I should pick none of the above...
Next time there is an epic show day in Baltimore in which I have 5 or more to choose from, I should pick none of the above...
PS. Still no sleep
Yeah I got maybe 3 hours last night so more than the night before, but I'm exhausted. Sleeping in tonight hopefully from 4-10. 6 hours seems sooo dope right now especially when I'm about to battle the road for 3.
greener grass
You know how they say the grass is greener on the other side. I'm not one of those people that need the perfectly manicured lawn with the ultra brilliant green blades of grass. But I'm aok with being that one neighbor that has the dandelions scatter about, the one patch of brown and the unruly blades along the sidewalk. Right now though, my shit is straight up and down dying. Possibly mistaken for yellow grass.
Can a few things go right or at least be manageable in my life. I don't need to ace this test but I don't think I could handle tweaking by either...
Can a few things go right or at least be manageable in my life. I don't need to ace this test but I don't think I could handle tweaking by either...
be different
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.
- Christopher Morley
I wish more people would think for themselves. Not even just think for themselves but attempt to better their own lives. Maybe they don't realize that being just like everyone else isn't going to get them by in life?
- Christopher Morley
I wish more people would think for themselves. Not even just think for themselves but attempt to better their own lives. Maybe they don't realize that being just like everyone else isn't going to get them by in life?
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