No sleep

I haven't been sleeping lately and when I do its not long or steady. I wake up repeatedly throughout the night. Maybe I should take sleeping pills or something. This lack of sleep really isn't helping my overall self and for that I apologize.
On another note, I hope to one day get something that I want. Not in the materialistic sense but in life. I want to want something extremely badly and for it happen. I'm far too comfortable with being ok with leftovers. Sometimes I wish I was selfish.
I love my mom so much, apparently today I don't look like myself. To her I looked like I was going to burst into tears and she just kept asking me what was wrong as I packed my things. My reply "everything will be alright" or "you know me, I don't talk." I don't think I'm as bad as she thinks, but then again mom always knows best, right.
Kids don't worry about me, I'm tough like Ford. No matter the internal feelings, at the drop of a dime I'll turn on that charm you seem to love. One day will be mine, it'd probably come sooner if I stop bending over backwards to make the impossible possible for everyone else but if I didn't I wouldn't be being me. If I can then I will simple as that. If I can't I'll find a way. Good things come to those who wait and quite frankly I got nothing but time.