Advice

I don't know who people expect me to be, but I do know who I am. I don't really know why a friend would lie, especially about something so trivial. Don't people know life is cyclical, things constantly come back around. Eventually the truth will shine and then where will you be? Wouldn't you rather have the image of being upfront and open about who you are and what you've done to those who are supposed to be your support system your extended family? I know I would. I don't think it's wise to lie to the ones you expect to stand by you. Be honest and ask for forgiveness. Although they shouldn't judge you anyway.
Why be desperate? Why would anyone want that? Why even collect all these points and stories, what good will it bring you years down the line? So what.
Calm down and live your life. Everything is everything and you can't spend the hours protecting yourself from what will be, cause in that time new harms are being created, and no one can be 100% safe.
Get over yourself, nothing is that great.

I don't even feel like going on cause people are going to be people. You are going to do what you've always done, and I've come to terms with that.