Get on the bus

"I’m officially starting the “SHITBETTERGETAWESOMEQUICK” CAMPAIGN 09’. I’ve been in a cave for almost a month, waddling in my own self-pity."

I'm in 100% agreement and am slowly working on rallying the campaign trail!

I trust everyone.

It's the devil inside them I don't trust.

I tripped up the steps at work

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.
- Michel de Montaigne

Well I guess ignorance is bliss...

Rolling Stone Article

"you know what? you call my friend a “n_gger”, i dont even give a fuck what happens to you. i dont want to see you in this scene. i dont want to see you at shows. you are who we write songs about. you are who we think about when we hate. radiohead, karma police over and over again in my head.

what a joke.

you are fucking pathetic and anyone that disagrees should put their white hood on too. i dont want your ticket money. i dont want your cd sales. id rather be poor and unknown.

i am angrier than i have been in a long time. hate upon hate upon hate.

thank god for my friends."
~Pete Wentz

"Damn right you bash their heads in. I have no tolerence for things like that whatsoever, it's just plan rude and ignorant. If your gunna beat someone up, might as well be for a good reason *cough cough* certain former frontman of another band starting with E T F *cough cough*I'm just saying."
~Perez Hilton

Mile a minute

My brain cannot turn off as of late. There's always at least 3 things I'm thinking about, and I'm not really sure if writing it all out will make it go away or just bring more to light. Can't hurt either way I guess, cause as long as I'm thinking I'm improving.
Today's How to of the day made me think even more. Before I continue let me apologize for this posting. It probably will not make sense, nor will it be in order. This is how my brain functions and I don't want to stop things from coming because I could be stifling a realization of how things are. Back to wikihow. So today was all about how to enjoy your job and I started to think, wow that's what I want in life. There are days when I'm so stoked to go to work, then there's the days when I know it's going to suck. Is the day worst because I planned for it to be? Probably. Am I just observant and know the cycle inside and out? Maybe. Whatever the case may be, I don't want to have bad days, work days, ok days and then that one good day. I want to enjoy the days that could make anyone else cry just as much as I enjoy that golden fun day in the office. I'm far too young and have way too many work days ahead of me, to be dreading these. The idea of feeling trapped isn't helping. Usually people my age, don't have much to worry about and this is the time in life when they are establishing things to get them on their own feet. I on the other hand, am trying to keep my head above water with a worry-free smile. Bills aren't fun, nor are expenses. I wish I had a rent or mortgage payment instead of a student loan or credit card bill. Then things would seem far more worthwhile. At the moment I'm working to keep the things I already have and to eventually get in a place to make plans for the future. My life is pretty much on hold for the next 4 years and that's depressing. It's not in any way shape or form how I'd like to have things, but that's the way I played the cards. It's kinda like when you're playing Lights Out and you fuck up in the beginning so you can either backtrack or just keep going and it takes more moves but eventually you'll finish the round. The methods I chose to get to where I am weren't the wisest or brightest choices but I'm here and I'm not giving up.
Not trying to brag or anything of that nature, but I make too much money to not have the things that others have. The state of living in Maryland isn't so substantial that 35k gets you nowhere. I need to sit down and think and figure out a new plan because being debt-free, except loans, in 4 years is great but it's still 4 years. At 27 I shouldn't be living the same as 23. I should write Suze Orman or Oprah a letter.
Dear Oprah,
I'm doing everything I can to the best of my ability and I know that one day in the future I'll be straight but I may lose my mind by them. I don't want you to pay for my mistakes because that isn't quite teaching a lesson but maybe you can show me the alternatives and provide me with even more choices than I currently see.
Thank you,
Monique
Maybe I'll just do that...
I'm freakin exhausted. For weeks now, maybe even months I've been wearing myself thin and things have started to slow so my body is trying to take advantage of my relaxed nature and catch up on rest. The only problem is that things aren't completely finished yet. My unmotivated self is forcing everything to take much longer and in the meanwhile I'm getting approached from all directions asking for things to get done. I need a vacation from everything and everyone and just be with myself. One day soon I'm not going to have anything left to do but be Monique and when that day comes, I hope everyone understands and leaves me alone. If not I'll have no choice but to disappear. It's what I do to keep my sanity, the people who know me have accepted this without question. Those who don't are now learning.
There's a couple things coming up that I'm very excited for. So each day isn't one in the same. Memorial Day is finally near, aka I have a day off of work that isn't vacation time. Haven't had one of those since New Years. That's ridiculous. That day is going to be 100% work free, except maybe some cooking/casual cleaning.
I love my friends, even though they do dumb things that I normally have to fix. They make me, me. And I'm a fan of that. If it wasn't for them, I don't know what I'd do with myself. Probably watch a lot more movies, and play video games. Speaking of movies, I just got Bebe's Kids and I'm amped to watch. Def one of my favorite movies back in the nineties.
I really want to find a boy. I have a lot of love to give and no one to quite share it with. Still not sure if I'm ready for a relationship but I'd love to find someone I can be all cutesy with for like 2 weeks. Maybe I should find a band that's in Baltimore for a short period of time... jk. I could go on more about the whole need to love aspect of my life, but it's been 3 hours and I'm tired of thinking...

Sidenote I came across another quote today and it made me think that I'm on the right path in life.

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Is it vain when a song makes you think of yourself?

FTSK debut full length is finally out and I find myself relating to these songs all too well. It's been a while since I've put on a CD and said, "wait is this my life?" No worries, I don't think the Underdog Alma Mater is epically good, so they shouldn't be breaking up anytime soon. Below are the lyrics to "That For Me". This song hit the hardest, if it was the single it'd be my profile song.

We used to drive all night and listen to the radio
We'd push the front seats up and make the back our bedroom
Stay here all night long, be strong, forget the world were living in

Mother I know you know I'm having a good time
I'm sleeping so little but I'm living a good life
No need to worry I got a place to lay my head down
No need to worry I got a place to sleep

I need somebody to rely on
and you weren't that for me
and you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be

I count down the steps to your apartment
Cause I'm eager to know if your even at home
and I called you on the drive home
But you were alone

Mother I know you know I'm having a good time
I'm sleeping so little but I'm living a good life
No need to worry I got a place to lay my head down
No need to worry I got a place to sleep

I need somebody to rely on
and you weren't that for me
and you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be that for me
Yeah, you'll never be

I love you but I'm not sure that I really want to
touch you but I will only if you ask me too

Words to live by

If you scroll back far enough, you'll see I used to blog everyday about my day. It was a science experiment in which I learned no matter what, I'm just going to be me. One good thing that came out of it (there were a lot) is that each day I would write very basic Confucius style sayings about my day. I figure these might be good to refer back to when I need to remember myself.

• October 30, 2007 - realizations bring out the strongest emotions
• October 31, 2007 - friendship means going above and beyond
• November 1, 2007 - life doesn't happen without a catalyst
• November 2, 2007 - 20 people can make you cry but all you need is 1 to make you smile
• November 3, 2007 - dwelling is reliving; just let that shit go
• November 4, 2007 - sometimes memories resurface but that temptation is easily avoided with the right company
• November 5, 2007 - life is spontaneous, plans are only a guide
• November 6, 2007 - Forcing things to happen never works the way it's supposed to
• November 7, 2007 - even when your living the dream, there's things you don't want to do
• November 8, 2007 - after catharsis comes bliss
• November 9, 2007 - one's getaway is another's problematic source
• November 10, 2007 - life shouldn't be scheduled make some plans but allow for spontaneity
• November 11, 2007 - one day I'm going to wake up a changed woman and sadly so will the rest of the world
• November 12, 2007 - surround yourself with people who genuinely have your well-being in mind, cause one day when you need them most they will already be there taking care of problems they had no idea existed
• November 13, 2007 - everything will work itself out don't let life slip by trying to even out the past
• November 14, 2007 - even when you're not thinking about it, it still comes up in conversation
• November 15, 2007 - why is it that no one ever wants to hit pause and regroup? at least that way if you forget 5 minutes later it will play by itself
• November 16, 2007 - no one likes to be forgotten
• November 17, 2007 - why is sitting around watching TV more fun at someone else's house?
• November 18, 2007 - everything will work itself out don't let life slip by trying to even out the past
• November 19, 2007 - doing nothing can be everything
• November 20, 2007 - when you don't have any choice you make the best of out the situation, occasionally it ends up being the best time ever
• November 21, 2007 - people sometimes get caught up in their own worlds to stop and appreciate others, be sure to always appreciate yourself
• November 22, 2007 - Looking at the people that share some DNA bonds with you is many times better than looking in the mirror
• November 23, 2007 - after a while I expect people to be the person they've always been, whomever that may be
• November 24, 2007 - Things are better when everyone is on the same vibe
• November 25, 2007 - Playing the cards that are dealt could mean people lose you never intended to play against
• November 26, 2007 - Deep thoughts are like a personal trip without the travel time.
• November 27, 2007 - If your life is making you unhappy do something about it, don't take it upon yourself to attempt to ruin others cause you will only make them stronger and dislike you even more
• November 28, 2007 - Sometimes it's all about the little things and the normality of life
• November 29, 2007 - Life isn't meant to be restarted or even pause, play it out with the only reassurance that each day is anew and eventually there is a stop
• November 30, 2007 - Youth is wasted on the young, I never want to think that so I intend to live up everyday with a good story. Sometimes that means stupid...
• December 1, 2007 - Cause and effect applies to all aspects of life
• December 2, 2007 - Familiar faces can turn a nothing day into a lasting memory
• December 3, 2007 - Selfless acts start to take a toll when you give so much and never get a simple thank you
• December 4, 2007 - It doesn't matter who you know cause at the end of the day you're still you, and no one can change that
• December 5, 2007 - Wishing you were in someone else's shoes does nothing but create more issues for your feet

Going to the museum!!

Going to the museum after work. I haven't been in over a year and that's an issue because I have no excuses (it's free). Museums always inspire me and give me that extra push to be great and different and me, especially the modern section. Renaissance and Baroque just don't turn me on like contemporary. It's probably my love of line, color, shape and pattern in the most simplest form. Speaking of which, put in the order for my business card today!! One step closer.

Google must know today is a good art day for me. Quote of the day:
There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
- Pablo Picasso

That explains it

A man's silence is wonderful to listen to.
- Thomas Hardy

I guess this is why everyone likes to be around me. I don't say shit...

PS: Ebay Venture Take 2

This could be me

Antarctica? Seriously dude. Its between -40 and -94 degrees and pitch black. I would go for the story.

Never settle

There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey.
- John Ruskin

But how do you know when it's too fast?

Every once in a while a quote will hit close to home. Today that happened. As I start my first of many hellacious workdays of 08 I stumbled acrossed Mario Andretti's quote, If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough. And I thought, I guess I'm going at the right speed cause nowadays I feel like things are spiraling out of place. My next thought was, maybe I'm going too fast, maybe things are supposed to be organized chaos. I'll have to ponder this more, but now is not the time cause as I said. Today is hellacious and it's just the beginning...

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough. ~Mario Andretti

Wow we've come a long way

This morning I saw a quote and it made me go wow. Then I started to think about progression and evolution. I wanted to save it so I could remember whenever I needed to hear words of wisdom pertaining to nothing to do with me but everything to do with me at the same time. I know I'm behind on my blogs those will come when I have time, and if I don't have time that must mean I'm just doing more fun stuff for you to live vicariously through at a later date...

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King Jr.